


*hacks twitter in space*

by Zakyuu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format, Social Media, Twitter, this is a mess, voltron does stupid shit, voltron on twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2020-12-07 12:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zakyuu/pseuds/Zakyuu
Summary: the voltron paladins arent as popular as the avengers, obviously — in fact, no one even knows they exist. but they still radiate the same kind of dumb gay energy like the rest of the world.or: pidge somehow manages to connect voltron's communicators onto earth and virtually nothing is the same. voltron also collectively makes everyone lose their marbles while they play hot potato with the fact that theyre in a ten thousand year war with the galra.





	1. shiro is an adult therefore he is old

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 

> basic info: events of voltron happen right under the noses of the avengers. asgard doesnt know that a voltron lion came to earth 10,000 years ago and had no idea that same lion was dug out by a bunch of teenagers and an escaped prisoner. the launch of the blue lion wasnt recorded because the garrison managed to miraculously hide the fact that there was an alien spacecraft from SHIELD and the government. not even HYDRA knows about it, so. fun.
> 
> as for asgard and galra....¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> first chapter: happens simultaneously with "totally not foreshadowing"

lance @blueboii  
no but seriously is no one in this family straight

keith @heypup  
are you joking?

rover died @pidgeon  
what is straight

stress cooking @yellowboii  
not in the least, buddy

lance @blueboii  
okay, just checking

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
i dont know any of you but i already stan HARD

keith @heypup  
dont. shiro just got dared to heat a piece of toast with [<strike>his robot arm</strike>] a hair iron.

keith @heypup  
and he's DOING IT

eugene @ayybbay  
nice

keith @heypup  
no, NOT NICE. DONT ENCOURAGE THEM.

lance @blueboii  
come on babe, live a ltittle

keith @heypup  
not with [<strike>the galra war</strike>] exams coming.

tired @spacedad  
keith, lance is right. we only live so long

tired @spacedad  
we should enjoy the moment while it lasts

that is not correct @bcaccording  
thats really deep @spacedad

tired @spacedad  
i suppose thats true

rover died @pidgeon  
its because hes old

tired @spacedad  
pidge, im 26

lance @blueboii  
nah youre old

keith @heypup  
you adopted me, youre Old™

stress cooking @yellowboi  
not to alarm you but you're pretty old shiro

tired @spacedad  
i feel attacked

tired @ spacedad  
this is because of the white hair isnt it

bibabe @bibabe  
omg you have white hairs?

lance @blueboii  
honey it goes beyond the levels of 'white hairs'

tired @spacedad  
lance.

rover died @pidgeon  
eyup  
_attached img_ [**hesold.jpeg**]

but still good @lessbien  
is that real?

eugene @ayybaby  
what is?

but still good @lessbien  
his. his whole frontal hair. its just. white????

eugene @ayybaby  
wait really?

eugene @ayybaby  
HOLY SHIT IT IS

tired @spacedad  
PIDGE

rover died @pidgeon  
YOU CANT TOUCH ME DAD

tired @spacedad  
why do i even bother

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
o H mY

bi babe @bibabe  
holy shit, i..... im gay??? WhAt

lance @blueboii  
we been knew, dude. we know.

bi babe @bibabe  
nonononono you dont understand.

bi babe @bibabe  
like

bi babe @bibabe  
i know we all make jokes about "oh this is gay i stan" and stuff

bi babe @bibabe  
but shiro. @spacedad. dude.

bi babe @bibabe  
you could destroy me with those pecs of yours and id thank you

keith @heypup  
see shiro im not the only one to think you were hot

bi babe @bibabe  
AKXJDBSOSKAFBBS

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
jfc ur own dad?

keith @heypup  
brother. im 20.

pan witha plan @hotnmessy  
oh alright carry on

lance @blueboii  
babe i thought we agreed i was the hot one here

bibabe @bibabe  
oadjsnzorks

rover died @pidgeon  
you keep keysmashing

bi babe @bibabe  
**imgay.jpeg**

rover died @pidgeon  
fair enough

keith @heypup  
oh no, you are, hands down, the hottest thing ive ever laid my eyes on

stress cooking @yellowboii  
and hands (´⊙ω⊙`)

bi babe @bibabe  
IT GOT BETTER

keith @heypup  
but shiros legendary

lance @blueboii  
lmao i cant argue with that

stress cooking @yellowboii  
same

rover died @pidegon  
cant relate

bi babe @bibabe  
why?

rover died @pidgeon  
ace

bi babe @bibabe  
ah understandable

tired @spacedad  
i

tired @spacedad  
i need a nap

stress cooking @yellowboii  
he went straight for the common room and curled up beside me

rover died @pidgeon  
wow a mood

bi babe @bibabe  
rt

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
big rt

tim @fairies  
everytime i come back here its to some new tea pipin' hot

eugene @ayybbay  
dont i know it


	2. possibly doing illegal things in space (but nobody knows the second part)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bonding moment
> 
> everyone is also high-key Concerned™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought of everyone reacting to it and this came about

rover died @pidgeon  
lmao you know what shiro's inspirational quote reminded me of?

bi babe @bibabe  
that moment thing?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
i think i know what youre talking about

tim @fairies  
ooo more tea

eugene @ayybaby  
lmao youre always just here for the tea

tim @fairies  
and you arent?

eugene @ayybaby  
i didnt say that

rover died @pidgeon  
okay good hunk you be lance ill be keith

stress cooking @yellowboii  
sure

bi babe @bibabe  
owo is that name only for show

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yes

lance @blueboii  
NO ITS NOT LOOKIT THIS GREAT HANDSOME BOI  
_attached img_ [**steponmedaddy.jpeg**]

bi babe @bibabe  
what the fuck he looks,,, stronk,,,, i could be cuddled in his arms,,,,

lance @blueboii  
hunk hugs are best hugs!!

lance @blueboii  
and also

lance @blueboii  
PIDGE WHAT THE FUCK

keith @heypup  
seconded. pidge, whatever it is youre about to do, stop.

rover died @pidgeon  
lmao what re you gonna do about it, tell shiro?

tired @spacedad  
go for it bud

keith @heypup  
oh fuck off

lance @blueboii  
aldkskajfiaisbr

rover died @pidgeon  
rip klance

eugene @ayybaby  
okay now i really want to know

rover died @pidgeon  
okay so lance gets concussed, right

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
im,,, concerned™

rover died @pidgeon  
yea so were we but anyways

rover died @pidgeon  
lance is with shiro, keith bursts into the scene

bi babe @bibabe  
what scene

rover died @pidgeon  
uhhh gang fight ig

bibabe @bibabe  
whAT THE FUCK

rover died @pidgeon  
yeah we pissed off the wrong people

eugene @ayybaby  
fucking hell

stress cooking @yellowboii  
its all good, keith wiped out like, all of them except for the boss

keith @heypup  
they werent that good

bi babe @bibabe  
im terrified but also god thats hot @blueboii u lucked out

lance @blueboii  
i know (*´∇｀*)

rover died @pidgeon  
HAHAHAH THE FUCKINF IRONY

bi babe @bibabe  
why??

stress cooking @yellowboii  
okay so we all finally get to lance keith and shiro right,we all gang up on the boss, yadda yadda yadda, lets get lance to the [cyropod] hospital

eugene @ayybaby  
right

rover died @pidgeon  
lance recovered pretty quickly and we treated him to breakfast

stress cooking @yellowboii  
and then lance starts talking shit

bi babe @bibabe  
what about

rover died @pidgeon  
see, when fighting the gang keith was kinda cornered

rover died @pidgeon  
one of the only reasons he won was because lance woke up and pretty accurately nailed the leader in the head

rover died @pidgeon  
like, deadass accurate

tim @faries  
why was he concussed anyway

tired @spacedad  
a bomb

eugene @ayybaby  
wHAT THE FUCK

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
yo what the fuck you didnt call the police????

rover died @pidgeon  
never occured to us lol

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
right...

stress cooking @yellowboii  
lance brought that up as like, a jab to keith, way back when they still thought they hated each other

bi babe @bibabe  
they what?!?!

lance @blueboii  
lmao

keith @heypup  
lance assumes a lot, i dont know how to talk and emotion. see: disaster

bi babe @bibabe  
omg

rover died @pidgeon  
when lance shit talked keith, do you know what keith did?

tim @fairies  
aahhhh tea spil spill spill

rover died @pidgeon  
ill be keith, hunk is lance

rover died @pidgeon  
"wE hAd A bOnDiNg m O m E n T"  
"i CrAdLeD yOu In My ArMs!!"

eugene @ayybaby  
AKKDKSKZFJSIS HAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT DID HE REALLY

bi babe @bibabe  
WE STAN A DUMBASS GAY

rover died @pidgeon  
so then lance goes

stress cooking @yellowboii  
"nope, cant remember, didnt happen"

bi babe @bibabe  
biTCH WHAT

keith @heypup  
im still kinda salty about that

lance @blueboii  
if i give you alk the bonding moments will you let it go

keith @heypup  
what the fuck no u have to bond with the fam

stress cooking @yellowboii  
wow lance i feel unloved

lance @blueboii  
AKFHSKDJE OKAY IM SORRY

tim @fairies  
Pure™

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
yea true

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
but im still really concerned

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
do you need some kind of intervention?? spider man's just around the corner

tired @spacedad  
thanks, but no, we can handle this.

eugene @ayybaby  
youre not doing anything illegal are you

lance @blueboii  
pfffft no

keith @heypup  
thats really fucking funny to me you dont understand

rover died @pidgeon  
last i checked the govt databases, no, nothing we're doing is illegal

spoopy @spookyskeleton  
you got involved with a gang war, im pretty sure thats illegal

stress cooking @yellowboii  
okay @princess you may want to take this one

Allura @princess  
I assure you on behalf of [Voltron] my team, we are not doing anything that infringes on the laws of your land! So please do not worry.

bibabe @bibabe  
...wait. are you guys not in america or something?

tired @spacedad  
or something.

eugene @ayybaby  
that answers NONE of my questions, you realize

rover died @pidgeon  
lmal yeah we know

rover died @pidgeon  
but we dont want to talk about it that much

rover died @pidgeon  
i really only brought this one up bc i have a mission

lance @blueboii  
pidge wants to make it a meme

bi babe @bibabe  
i can do that. you got a picture?

rover died @pidgeon  
**angrygay.jpeg**

bi babe @bibabe  
b e a u t i f u l

bi babe @bibabe  
alright here u go  
_attached img_ [**bondingmoment.jpeg**]

tired @spacedad  
do you think krolia would like this

keith @heypup  
SHIRO DONT YOU FUCJIBG DARE

lance @blueboii  
lmao she would she loves any photo of keith

keith @heypup  
LANCE


	3. come on, lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> conspiracy nuts aboard

keith @heypup  
Lance wheres my jacket

rover died @pidgeon  
how do u even know he has ur jacket

keith @heypup  
because his ass gets cold fairly easily

tim @fairies  
I mean, mood

keith @heypup  
but i also get cold and he shouldve just asked me to sleep with him

eugene @ayybaby  
hahahaha holy shit

tired @spacedad  
keith, buddy, you wanna maybe try that again

keith @heypup  
what? I know what i said.

ned @guyinthechair  
wow @peteparker why arent we like this

peter@peteparker  
DO YOU WANT TO BE AJDIFWJAODKDBFBS

michelle @ladybossjr  
Rip peter. He wont be missed.

lance @blueboii  
being sweet and soft is a keith and me thing!!!! :(

rover died @pidgeon  
dont believe him, theyre gross and mushy and i hate it

keith @heypup  
liar

keith @heypup  
when u got drunk on nunvill the other day you literally blackmailed me into reserving u as the flower person for lance and i's wedding

tired @spacedad  
I'm sorry, what?

rover died @pidgeon  
I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE YOU FUCK

lance @blueboii  
aweeee, pidgey wants to be a flower person

rover died @pidgeon  
Shut ur fuck

tired @spacedad  
Pidge, you're underage. Just where did you get Nunvil?

rover died @pidgeon  
I have my ways, spacedad

stress cooking @yellowboii  
Coran gave you some when u said u needed it for an experiment

tired @spacedad  
WHAT

eugene @ayybaby  
every time i see you guys mass tweet at the same time its like watching the avengers handle stupid and weird shit while on twitter

lance @blueboii  
lmao i think we get the weirder shit literally all the time

keith @heypup  
LANCE

rover died @pidgeon  
LANCE COME THE FUCK ON

stress cooking @yellowboii  
LANCE.

tired @spacedad  
Lance, we've discussed this.

lance @blueboii  
Oadkwnxkdkxne they wont get it my dudes its fine™

winnie @windexx  
wanna bet

lance @blueboii  
Ya better be ready to cough up the cash

keith @heypup  
lance you dont understand the internet has Ways

rover died @pidgeon  
how would lance even pay

tim @fairies  
I like how were all automatically assuming @blueboii will lose

lance @blueboii  
I WILL NOT. KEITH I THOUGHT U BELIEVED IN ME

keith @heypup  
In any other scenario, maybe i would, lance

keith @heypup  
but this is the internet

eugene @ayybaby  
doesnt that sound delightfully ominous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pidge looks up from their phone. "No, seriously Lance, how ARE you going to pay @windexx?"
> 
> Lance sniffs, turning away from Pidge. He can't turn by much, as Keith has a tight hold on his waist, but it conveys the same displeasure. "You have no faith, no faith at all! I won't have to pay anything!"
> 
> Shiro pats his back in sympathy, ignoring Pidge's snort. "Keep dreaming, sharpshooter."


	4. space power rangers: late night conspiracies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe they ARE onto something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happens dead in the night right after events of 'iced americano' bc the paladins have weird sleeping schedules

lance @blueboii

:( i wish i was there at the cafe i couldve seen captain america put down homophobes

mel @cofeekid

okdsjxbwk it was glorious i wish everyone was there to witness it

lance @blueboii  
whose everyone?

mel @blueboii  
everyone

lance @blueboii  
lmao fair enough!

keith @heypup  
lance its 3 int he fuckinbg morninkskd what r u sofojng out kf bed

keith @heypup  
ocmdne baxkkkkk

mel @coffeekid  
uh oh ur boyfriendvs here

lance @blueboii  
lmao hes not my boyfriend

mel @coffeekid  
oh he's not? im sorry, i shouldnt have assumed

rover died @pidgeon  
lance is fucking with you. keith's his fiancè.

mel @coffeekid  
WAIT REALLY THATS SO GREAT

eugene @ayybaby  
BUT KEITH SAID HE WAS 20 THATS LIKE, STILL IN COLLEGE

keith @heypup  
didnt stop me

rover died @pidgeon  
lets just say they got drunk on lance's birthday and ended up really far away with candy rings on their fingers and an official certificate

mel @coffeekid  
holy shit thats amazing

rover died @pidgeon  
a week later they got each other matching rings and legit got engaged

eugene @ayybaby  
thats wild

mel @coffeekid  
it really is

mel @coffeekid  
ah but you should probably listen to your s/o @blueboii. sleep is good!

lance @blueboii  
i cant sleep

mel @coffeekid  
oh no, uhhhhhhh idk @heypup come get your man

lance @blueboii  
no shh dont sisofbskaddifajns

rover died @pidgeon  
lol keith just dragged keith inot bed with him under the blankets

mel @coffeekid  
akkdsnnzifwis thats really soft

rover died @pidgeon  
i know its kinda disgusting to watch sometimes

mel @coffekid  
excuse me?

rover died @pidgeon  
not in a homophobic way. im a flower person for their wedding or im stabbing them

rover died @pidgeon  
im ace is why. doesnt sit too well with me

mel @coffeekid  
oh, that makes sense!!

mel @coffeekid  
if you guys live near each other shouldnt you be asleep too?

rover died @pidgeon  
medical condition. cant function properly if i get more than 4 hours of sleep. i power nap around the [<strike>castle</strike>] house

mel @coffeekid  
well alrighty then

ice @icebaby  
akidsjbdjeiw @coffeekid MEL LOOK AT THEIR PREVIOUS TWEETS

mel @coffeekid  
ITS LIKE SOME KIND OF SLOW BURN ROMANCE FIC WHAT THE HELL

ice @icebaby  
klance klance klance #klance

mel @coffeekid  
its like a sitcom

ice @icebaby  
lmao could you imagine

ice @icebaby  
their aesthetic is space right??? since "spacedad"??

mel @coffeekid  
yeah?

ice @icebaby  
so i was thinking, if they were a sitcom, this shiro dude could have been kidnapped in space then crashed back on earth as an escaped prisoner or someshit

ice @icebaby  
and going by lance's thing (and his best friend's??), they all have colors. i looked into it and it looks like keith's the red one so hes the leader

mel @coffeekid  
how do you know keith is red?

ice @icebaby  
they have a twitter thread purely full of heart replies. lance uses the blue heart, keith uses the red one

mel @coffeekid  
OH MY GUCKING GOD THATS SO??? PURE? AND SAPPY????

ice @icebaby  
LOL IKR?!?! I JUST ABOUT DIED SEEING IT THEYRE SO SOFT IT GAVE ME HEART PALPITATIONS

ice @icebaby  
so anyway like traditional power rangers the red ones are always the leader ergo keith is the leader

eugene @ayybaby  
lol nope its shiro

ice @icebaby  
oh alright then BUT IT STILL FITS

ice @icebaby  
so i was thinking, but hear me out: SPACE POWER RANGERS

eugene @ayybaby  
thats a little out there

ice @icebaby  
lmao i know, but if it were a sitcom itd probably be that

mel @coffeekid  
what would they even do in space?

ice @icebaby  
i dont know, spearhead a ten thousand long year war?

mel @coffeekid  
thats never going to happen

mel @coffeekid  
but i dig it

eugene @ayybaby  
yeah its not likely to happen, as awesome as that would be. the avengers already handle everything spacey i think!

ice @icebaby  
my god i need to write a fic about this

mel @coffeekid  
DO IT

rover died @pidgeon  
...holy shit

winnie @windexx  
;)

rover died @pidgeon  
@yellowboii HUNK WE HAVE A PROBLEM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 12/7/19 :  
yeah hi i changed their ages keith lance and hunk are implied to be 20, shiro's 26 and pidge is roughly 18 BUT they think of them as 17 bc baby gremlin ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	5. how we met the space fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stress cooking @yellowboii  
what makes you think theres a story?
> 
> eggs @deviled  
please, no one is ever friends with an adult unless theres some kind of backstory

eggs @deviled  
Hey @yellowboii i have a question and you seem like the right person to ask

stress cooking @yellowboii   
I have so many protests to that but go ahead

eggs @deviled  
Ive been looking thru all your activity and it looks like you 5 are like

eggs @deviled  
in cahoots?

eggs @deviled  
like

eggs @deviled  
i know that both lance and keith are dating

stress cooking @yellowboii  
lmao yeah if you miss that youre kind of a dummy

eggs @deviled  
akkddnskfk youre so sweet but anyway

eggs @deviled  
you guys seem to have a friend group??? of sorts??

eggs @deviled  
i dont mean to pry but is there a story behind that?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
what makes you think theres a story?

eggs @deviled  
please, no one is ever friends with an adult unless theres some kind of backstory

stress cooking @yellowboii  
well you arent wrong

tim @fairies  
OwO whats this? i smell the tea

stress cooking @yellowtime  
story time, i guess. pidge, you wanna help out?

rover died @pidgeon  
sure, i guess

eggs @deviled  
what the fuck

eggs @deviled  
have u been here this whole time?

rover died @pidgeon  
yep

stress cooking @yellowboii  
we dont question it anymore, pidge is terrifying

rover died @pidgeon  
i could kill you in your sleep

keith @heypup  
bet youre like 5"

rover died @pidgeon  
meet me in the fucking pit, [£¢√π£...%]

rose @andthorns  
woah what the fuck

winnie @windexx  
ah so that explains that then

eugene @ayybaby  
explains what now

winnie @windexx  
shhh im a conspiracy theorist let me do my thing

eugene @ayybaby  
okay valid but what the fuck for?? @pidgeon has made themselves fairly well known in twitter bc of their constant retellings of klance hijinks

keith @heypup  
id be offended but i looked back at every single one of pidge's tweets and i cant say that youre wrong

lance @blueboii  
and this is just one of many installments

winnie @windexx  
you'll see ;)

stress cooking @yellowboii  
ONTO THE STORY

eggs @deviled  
oh boy

stress cooking @yellowboii  
so lance is screaming about girls, as usual

rainbow @covertt  
i thought he was dating keith?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
lmao they hated each other before didnt we mention that

eggs @deviled  
WHAT

ned @guyinthechair  
this is...news.

eugene @ayybaby  
lmao some of us knew we've been following their tweets since forever ago

bi babe @bibabe  
i can confirm that they did, in fact, hate each other. @yellowboii sent me a couple of videos of @blueboii ranting about @heypup's ass

lance @blueboii  
HE WHAT

keith @heypup  
hunk showed me those they were pretty intense

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yeah so lance is screaming about girls and he wanted me to come with him to skip

ice @icebaby  
so he's a fuckboi?

keith @heypup  
hes MY fuckboi

ice @icebaby  
holy shit

dying @blackcoffee  
get you a man who clings to you even when ur being ridiculous

stress cooking @yellowboii  
so along the way we see pidge staring at the stars like some angsty teen

rover died @pidgeon  
bitch i know where you live

stress cooking @yellowboii  
you know where ALL of us live pidge, you were there, theres no point to this

stress cooking @yellowboii  
anyway

ice @icebaby  
WHAT THE FU K GHT SOUNDS SO OMINOUS

stress cooking @yellowboii  
we caught up with pidge and we like, chatted

rover died @pidgeon  
and then we see this weird looking...car

eggs @deviled  
how weird?

rover died @pidgeon  
hella

rose @andthorns  
skksjabfsjao thats valid

rover died @pidgeon  
so out of the car comes a drunk off his ass shiro

rainbow @covertt  
who??

rover died @pidgeon  
@spacedad

rainbow @covertt  
W h a t

tired @spacedad  
what are you all up to

tired @spacedad  
oh no not this again

rover died @pidgeon  
shhh shut up shiro were telling a story here

tired @spacedad  
fine. if this blows up on your face lance isnt the only who cleans the ..cars

rover died @pidgeon  
you say that like its a bad thing

tired @spacedad  
didnt you have a story you wanted to tell?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
so we all collectively see shiro, but we all know shiro doesnt drink so he was probably drugged

eggs @deviled  
what the fuck

eugene @ayybaby  
this is mildly less concerning that the whole bomb incident

eggs @deviled  
BOMBS?!?!?

peter @peteparker  
yo, i just saw this, do you need mr stark's help??

keith @heypup  
little late for that

rover died @pidgeon  
you wont be able to find us anywhere dudes

ned @guyinthechair  
wanna bet

keith @heypup  
lmao its not a computer thing

lance @blueboii  
its WAAAAAY more complicated than that

eugene @ayybaby  
so why wont you tell us

lance @blueboii  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ we dont want to

stress cooking @yellowboii  
so at this point the three of us are debating whether to help him or not, bc, hello, lance had this huge ass gay crush on shiro

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
i dont blame him bc hot damn,

rose @andthorns  
why? whats he look like?

bi babe @bibabe  
[crushme.jpeg]

rose @andthorns  
OKAY I GET IT NOW HOT DAMN THAT IS ONE PIECE OF FINE ASS

tired @spacedad  
can you stop messaging my kids for my pictures

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
aksifjajdje your kids?????

tired @spacedad  
shit i didnt mean

tired @spacedad  
...i mean at this point they probably are,,

stress cooking @yellowboii  
i should probably mention he was being hoisted up by strange people

ned @guyinthechair  
strange how?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
dont worry about it

rose@andthorns  
UM??? UR DAD COULD HAVE BEEN POSSIBLY KIDNAPPED WHY SHOULDNT WE WORRY

rover died @pidgeon  
bc this is where keith comes in

stress cooking @yellowboii  
keith was pretty decked out in hermit clothing at the time, none of us recognized him

stress cooking @yellowboii  
except for lance.

rover died @pidgeon  
loverboy lance here recognized keef by his fucking MULLET.

bi babe @bibabe  
AJIDISBCKDSKHAHAHAHAH THATS GREAT

lance @blueboii  
IT HAS A DISTINCT SHAPE LET ME LIVE

keith @heypup  
he has a thing for my hair, if you didnt notice

arlo @zoombitch  
ahahahahhaahahaha this is fucking gold

rose @andthorns  
oh my god i ship it

rover died @pidgeon  
@princess MOOOOOOM KLANCE IS BEING DISGUSTING AGAIN MAKE THEM STOP

stress cooking @yellowboii  
aksksnfbsjs youre bringing the princess into this?

eggs deviled  
woah what

eggs @deviled  
princess?

rose @andthorns  
omg they have a ship name

but still good @lessbien  
i stan #klance

Allura @princess  
What is it, Pidge?

Allura @princess  
Oh! Keith, Lance, please restrain yourselves. You have a time and place to be gross and sappy with each other.

Allura @princess  
Preferrably where none of us can see.

michelle @ladybossjr  
i already love this woman

Allura @princess  
Thank you. I hope I can endeavor to make a good impression on you all.

rose @andthorns  
holy shit god isnt dead there are still nice people

lance @blueboii  
lmao, princess allura, nice? lemme tell you abksocjekdkke

Allura @princess  
Please disregard anything Lance says about me.

but still good @lessbien  
oh my god is @blueboii dead

bi babe @bibabe  
lol ms princess allura killed him

Allura @princess  
I not sure I quite know what you're talking about.

but still good @lessbien  
ive found a new queen.

stress cooking @yellowboi  
buddy, you dead?

lance @blueboii   
lol arent we all

keith @heypup  
no dying on my watch

lance @blueboii  
suddenly I feel very alive and happy!

rover died @pidgeon  
lol ur so whipped

rover died @pidgeon  
so lance recognizes keith right? hes like "oh no fuck this guy were getting to shiro first" like a dumbass

rover died @pidgeon  
if any of you call lance a dumbass i will personally hunt you down dont fucking test me

eggs @deviled  
sensing strong friendship vibes here

rover died @pidgeon  
ill rant about that later BUT ANYWAYS

rover died @pidgeon  
so were all tailing lance and we see the tail end of keith absolutely wrecking shiro's uh. kidnappers

tired @spacedad  
you literally could have said it any other way and you chose that

rover died @pidgeon  
i didnt choose this life, it chose me

stress cooking @yellowboii  
lance goes over to greet keith and just basically establishing a rivalry then and there

rose @andthorns  
should we be glad theyre dating now?

rover died @pidgeon  
oh hell no. the rivalry got worse. and gross. sappy.

tired @spacedad  
they broke a wall during training

eggs @deviled  
Wait really? training for what?

tired @spacedad  
they entered this martial arts class and it devolved from there

stress cooking @yellowboii  
so lance is pretty incensed by keith, but keiths just all "uhhhhhh im sorry who are you?"

bi babe @bibabe  
keith, honey,

keith @heypup  
IM NOT GOOD WITH NAMES OKAY I REMEMBERED LANCE BUT NOT HIS NAME

lance @blueboii  
suuuuure keith suuuurrrreee

keith @heypup  
im going to kill you in your sleep

lance @blueboii   
⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ make sure to clean the sheets in the morning

keith @heypup  
thats not what i meant,

rose @andthorns  
omg i get it now i get why klance is iconic

bi babe @bibabe  
SEE!!!! SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
after that the rest of us just booked it to keith's car with an unconcious shiro

stress cooking @yellowboii  
and thats how we all met

eggs @deviled  
Okay so I'm counting, thats 5 of you but you also tagged this allura person who seems to know you guys personally?

Allura @princess  
That would be me, correct?

eggs @deviled  
Yes Ma'am. Nice to meet you?

Allura @princess  
I'm delighted to make your acquaintance! My name is [Princess Allura of Altea] Allura Altea.

eggs @deviled  
djkaifndksdow

rose @andthorns  
Aren't you worried someone might use your name to hunt you and your family down?

keith @heypup  
allura can take men down twice her size. she deadlifted shiro and benchpressed him.

but still good @lessbien  
AIODKWKSCFJWKA CAN I MEET HER

keith @heypup  
no.

but still good @lessbien  
THATS FINE I WONT BE ABLE TO HOLD MY COMPOSURE IN FRONT OF SUCH A POWERFUL WOMAN ANYWAY

michelle @ladybossjr  
i need to tell pepper about this

peter @peteparker  
oh no that seems like a terrifying idea

michelle @ladybossjr  
not terrible?

peter @peteparker  
nothing you do is terrible mj just really really intimidating

michelle @ladybossjr  
thanks loser :)

peter @peteparker  
!!!!! NED SHE USED AN EMOTICON

ned @guyinthechair  
good job, babe

Allura @princess  
Not to worry, everyone. I am perfectly capable of defending myself when need be.

Allura @princess  
And yes, I have, to quote Keith, 'deadlifted Shiro and benchpressed him'. It was quite the refreshing workout!

tired @spacedad  
if i wasnt gay i would date allura hands down after that

keith @heypup  
oh right, adam

tired @spacedad  
keith you lived with us how in the name of all that is holy did you forget

keith @heypup  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i had my priorities

rose @andthorns  
?? who is adam?

tired @spacedad  
ex fiancé

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
why, whatd he do?

keith @heypup  
shiro seems willing to talk about this but dont pry too much alright

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
!! of course! im sorry, i didnt mean to overstep

tired @spacedad  
its alright. im treating this like a therapy session.

bi babe @bibabe  
oh boy @PlantKing get your ass here

PlantKing @PlantKing  
im here, what u need?

Plant King @PlantKing  
o okay @spacedad lay it on us

tired @spacedad   
haha, thanks.

tired @spacedad  
one thing you should know is that adam didn't really do anything.

rose @andthorns  
alright

tired @spacedad  
I was the one who left in the first place

tired @spacedad  
I was assigned to accompany this father and son duo on an expedition.

tired @spacedad  
thing is, it was a long journey. i likely wouldn't be returning for over a year

tired @spacedad  
and i couldnt contact anyone aside from the control center during that span of time

tired @spacedad  
so if you couldnt tell, adam was a bit mad

keith @heypup  
"mad", he says. you locked me in my room so i wouldnt hear you guys argue.

tired @spacedad  
shhhh

tired  
so adam gave me two choices

eugene @ayybaby  
i think i know where this is going

tired  
stay with him and leave my career behind, or go through with it and lose him as a future spouse.

tired  
my final decision wasn't pretty.

tired   
and thats how i lost my fiancé. i came back after a year but i cant find him anymore. thats all.

Plant King @PlantKing  
alright, do you want my input?

tired   
go right ahead

PlantKing @PlantKing  
i dont think it was fully your fault

PlantKing @PlantKing  
what your case was was a series of misunderstandings and bad timing.

PlantKing@plantking  
like, i get why youd think its your fault. but its not that arbitrary. this adam person should have never given you two choices at all. what he shouldve done was give you a set of options

PlantKing @PlantKing  
options you both could compromise on.

plantking@plantking  
i dont want to say that the little expedition you went on wasnt important, but you and this adam were engaged. thats something to ponder on.

PlantKing@PlantKing   
ive never experienced an engagement before, so I wouldnt know, but im going to tell you that you trying to find adam is a huge indicator that you need closure.

PlantKing  
does that make sense?

keith @heypup  
sorry, he's crying on the kitchen stove right now. but i think he gets it.

lance @blueboii  
thank you @PlantKing !! weve been trying to get shiro to tell us about it but it wasnt going so great

Plant King @PlantKing  
no problem. gotta get that experience somewhere haha

Plant King @PlantKing

im just glad i could help. i hope your space dad feels better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kakskdidie i hope yall leave a comment pls leave a comment


	6. does keef is furry????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith isnt a furry pass it on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place in tandem with *eyes emoji* from twitter is onto something. enjoy!!

keith @heypup  
allsfksjaof !!!! lance!!! lance LOOK

lance @blueboii  
:0 babe u never keysmash in public this must be super important

lance @blueboii  
oH mY gOd?!?!?! @pidgeon PIDGEY COME SEE

rover died @pidgeon   
this is amazing

rover died @pidgeon   
sorry matt dr bruce banner is my idol now

winnie @windexx  
interesting...

eugene @ayybaby  
you really have gotta tell me why youre so intent on figuring them out

winnie @windexx  
if they tell me to stop ill stop

winnie @windexx  
so far, they havent

winnie @windexx  
besides, i have a bet i need to win

eugene @ayybaby  
jfc alright then whatever floats your boat

tired @spacedad  
for once in my life my faith in humanity has been restored

keith @heypup  
YEAH NO KIDDING

keith @heypup  
LANCE STOP LAUGHING YOU DONT KNOW WHAT SHIRO WAS LIKE

tim @fairies  
oh? spill the tea

eugene @ayybaby  
i guess thats your thing now

keith @heypup  
most people think shiro's like god incarnate, think he's some golden boy who grew up to be a tired but good space dad

keith @heypup  
which he is!

keith @heypup  
what shiro ISNT, in fact, is the so called 'golden boy' everyone kept telling me about

keith @heypup  
do you know how fucking mean and downright cynical shiro could be?

keith @heypup  
i was so confused when everyone kept telling me that shiro was such a nice human being for adopting me into his family

eugene @ayybaby  
lol 'human being' u say that as if you werent one

keith @heypup  
mayhaps

eugene @ayybaby  
what the fuck

keith @heypup  
shiro kept deflecting everytime i asked him about it

keith @heypup  
he might seem really fucking nice to you all right now but trust me that display name is the entire reason why

tired @spacedad   
i know where you live, keith

bi babe @bibabe  
you know what really amazes me is that he typed that all up in 5 minutes

lance @blueboii  
he's got really dextrous hands!!! if he was any good at hacking hed be the fastest out of all of us. boi has long fingers

rainbow @covertt  
you would know, hm?

lance @blueboii  
THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

lance @blueboii  
KEITH YOU HAVENT CUT UR CLAWS GET THOSE PAWS AWAY FROM ME

stress cooking @yellowboii  
dear god above lance

shane @bombshell  
hang on...? paws?

tired @spacedad  
oh how the turntables

keith @heypup  
NO. NOT PAWS. LANCE WAS KIDDING.

rover died @pidgeon  
you know he meant paws, man, stop trying to hide

keith @heypup  
FOR THE LAST TIME, WEVE DISCUSSED THIS

mel @coffeekid  
discussed what exactly

keith @heypup  
I AM NOT A FUCKING FURRY

mel @coffeekid  
O H M Y G O D

eugene @ayybaby  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

eggs @deviled  
that escalated quickly

rose @andthornes  
it would explain why keith is so prickly

ice @icebaby  
THAT IS SO TRUE HOLY SHIT I NEVER RELAIZED IT UNTIL TODAY

spooker @ryann  
this just in: keith is a furry

keith @heypup  
but im not a furry!

lance @blueboii  
no, but your mom was

keith @heypup  
LANCE

ice @icebaby  
IT GOT BETTER

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
you inherited her genes

eggs @deviled  
everytime i hear from you guys its another weird thing thats as ridiculous as the avengers smh

eggs @deviled  
and its okay @heypup we all love you inner furry and all

keith @heypup  
shiro i hate you

tired @spacedad  
what did i do?

keith @heypup  
i dont know, but i know this is probably Your Fault

rover died @pidgeon  
i hope you all know that shiro snorted while drinking water and he blew it out of his nose like a fountain

spooker @ryann  
thats beautiful

winnie @windexx  
hmm...


	7. shiro's pecs are pillows ig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> genderfluidity has it's usefulness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i regret the chapter title but eh
> 
> this happens at the time of 'tony stark is Not Straight'

Plant King @PlantKing  
hey @spacedad you can tell me to fuck right off but i have a question

tired @spacedad  
go ahead

Plant King @Plantking  
are you transgender?

tired @spacedad  
is this because of my pecs

Plant King @PlantKing  
mayhaps

tired @spacedad  
theyre rather large, or so i was told. but no, im not.

bi babe @bibabe  
listen,,,, this may seem disappointing to you but FUCKING IMAGINE LAYING ON THAT CHEST

tired @spacedad  
you just have to ask

bi babe @bibabe  
kakdsksnaoAKSIDKROADJEN

eugene @ayybaby  
you broke wez @spacedad be proud

tired @spacedad  
theyre broken every other week tho

eugene @ayybaby  
aifidjajdkw fair enough

bi babe @bibabe  
WOW WHAT A CALLOUT

ice @icebaby  
is it time for horny on main?

eugene @ayybaby  
no, his kids are around

rover died @pidgeon  
i am not a child

lance @blueboii  
yea but u tiny

rover died @pidgeon  
i can kick ur ass

lance @blueboii  
id like to see you try

rover died @pidgeon  
meet me in the fucking pit

tim @fairies  
ah, tea. how i missed you

tired @spacedad  
tag team battle this time

lance @blueboii  
YESSSSSS

rover died @pidgeon  
GODDAMN IT SHIRO

eugene @ayybaby  
whats so bad about tag team battlees

rover died @pidgeon  
nothing, tag teams are fun

rover died @pidgeon  
ITS JUST THAT KLANCE SOMEHOW ALWAYS WINS

lance @blueboii  
GOOD TEAM

keith @heypup  
BEST TEAM

tired @spacedad  
once it was like, the two of them versus the rest of us

stress cooking @yellowboii  
klance won

tired @spacedad  
they won by a landslide

bi babe @bibabe  
oh my god so theyre really an iconic couple?

rose @andthorns  
jaizofnakskdw thats so Valid

rover died @pidgeon  
anyway im the one whos trans. genderfluid really.

Plant King @PlantKing  
in this house we love our genderfluid friend @pidgeon

winnie @windexx  
ah.

eugene @ayybaby  
SERIOUSLY WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY CGAIN FROM THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GENDERFLUID

winnie @windexx  
oh no, i know

winnie @windexx  
but you gotta remember the specific details

winnie @windexx  
and tbh i already have some theories wjere being genderfluid can fit in

ice @icebaby  
what, like breaking into a facility and staying there as a completely different person, including the gender?

rover died @pidgeon  
mother fuck

winnie @windexx  
;)

tired @spacedad  
we're doomed


	8. keith died, too gay to function

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is very gay and very weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this particular set of tweets was inspired by that Voltron Paladin chat fic where lance was kidnapped and did a gymnatics routine to distract the galra while hunk rained them down with laser bullets.

rover died @pidgeon  
HAHAHAHAHAAHA HOLY SHIT KEITH

keith @heypup  
PIDGE SHUT UR FUCK

tired @spacedad  
please pay your respects to our beloved brother, Keith, dead on this day

rover died @pidgeon  
press f or say nothing at all

eugene @ayybaby  
f

rose @andthorns  
f

mel @coffeekid  
f

Plant King @PlantKing  
f

shane @bombshell  
f

spooker @ryann  
f

rainbow @covertt  
f

dying @blackcoffee  
f

striding @applejuice  
f

keith @heypup  
i fucking disown every single one of you

eggs @deviled  
f, but whats the occasion?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
pidge and shiro are too busy laughing on the floor, weve established keith is dead and lance is taking a bath

stress cooking @yellowboii  
but to answer your question, keith died bc he was too gay to function

bi babe @bibabe  
thats already a fucking mood, but what happened??

stress cooking @yellowboii  
lance. lance and gymnastics.

Plant King @PlantKing  
AODOFJWJXIREIJR REALLY

ice @icebaby  
HAHAHAJAJA WAS LANCE FLEXIBLE IS THAT WHY KIETH IS A PILE OF GAY MUSH

keith @heypup  
stop telling people im dead

tired @spacedad  
sometimes we still hear his voice

keith @heypup  
fuck you shiro

rover died @pidgeon  
hey keith @heypup hey

keith @heypup  
what.

rover died @pidgeon  
[short video of lance twirling and flipping while suspended on a rope] ;)

keith @heypup  
SkoafjjwidjajJEIEXIEHAODOEJWOAIWIFHHWBB

bi babe @bibabe  
holy shiiiiiit those are some sick moves

winnie @windexx  
damn the face is never shown you good @pidgeon

rover died @pidgeon   
i know

rover died @pidgeon  
but look at keith  
[img: sappyidiot.jpeg]

eugene @ayybaby  
im fucking losing it that looks too good

mel @coffeekid  
is that drool???

ice @icebaby  
IT IS THIS IS GOLDEN

tim @fairies  
THIS IS THE BEST TIMELINE EVER ILL NEVER WISH FOR IT TO CHANGE

Plant King @PlantKing  
tbh mood  
.  
.  
.  
lance @blueboii  
so...did you think i was hot @heypup?

keith @heypup  
jesus fucking christ ITS 2 AM LET IT FUCKING DIE ALREADY

tired @spacedad  
how about...no?  
.  
.  
.  
stress cooking @yellowboii  
so shiro, keith and pidge arent allowed to get on twitter today...

lance @blueboii  
quick everyone i wanna be thirsty on main

stress cooking @yellowboii  
more news!! everyone is banned from twitter, they're all gross and need to Calm the Fuck Down. see you guys in a bit :)


	9. catch the feelings train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is a little high strung, especially hunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happens in tandem with 'steve rogers has Opinions' in where cap america doesnt like la croix
> 
> but it actually deviates from there bc our space fam has problems of their own

lance @blueboii  
HUNK I NEED YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE

stress cooking @yellowboii  
i dont have the materials to make delicious la croix, stop asking

rover died @pidgeon  
he literally hasnt even said anything yet

stress cooking @yellowboii  
he doesnt need to

stress cooking @yellowboii  
being his best friend means i know exactly what he thinks, feels, and wants

keith @heypup  
so...

stress cooking @yellowboii  
if you want to know how many times he's gone on hours long rants about you and your stupid soft mullet and pretty purple eyes the answer is always too fucking much

rainbow @covertt  
i mean, mood

stress cooking @yellowboii  
back to my point, no, lance i cant fucking make you la croix im sorry dude but right now we dont even have enough rations to last a month

stress cooking @yellowboii  
how many of us have even slept properly, like does pidge even sleep at all

rover died @pidgeon  
occassionally

stress cooking @yellowboii  
exactly

stress cooking @yellowboii  
allura's been pretty worried about a little of everything recently and coran's holing up in the main area

stress cooking @yellowboii  
last week's incident was NOT a fun time for any of us if you couldn't tell

stress cooking @yellowboii  
i dont think im in the right state of mind to be making much of anything right now

tired @spacedad  
hunk, do you need a break?

lance @blueboii  
i made relaxation cream recently too

rover died @pidgeon  
since i connected us to the net i can hook you up with spotify

stress cooking @yellowboii  
that

stress cooking @yellowboii  
that would be nice, yeah

lance @blueboii  
alright-y today is a day for hunk appreciation!!!!! sorry starlight my time is now reserved for hunk

keith @heypup  
its ok. im worried about the big guy too.

.

bi babe @bibabe  
oh my god they really are a family arent they

eugene @ayybaby  
i thought that was fairly obvious?

bi babe @bibabe  
yeah but seeing it like directly in front of you is an Experience

luna @starpower  
yeah no kidding im only now seeing these bc you kept screaming about #klance 3 times a day but to see them in action is...something else

carlos @oleole  
have you guys seen @blueboii's spanish tweets though

bi babe @bibabe  
holy shit he's spanish??

carlos @oleole  
cuban, actually! but yeah the guy speaks it

carlos @oleole   
and man his tweets are like, really out of this world

mel @coffeekid  
i read those, i took a bit of spanish lessons befkre and i have to say theyre pretty mind blowing

bi babe @bibabe  
dont keep me hanging what does he say?

mel @coffeekid  
well for one thing he is 200% sappier with tweets concerning keith

bi babe @bibabe  
a man after my own heart

mel @coffeekid  
but he also tweets about his family. its really sweet!!

luna @starpower   
in this house we stan a sweet home boi

carlos @oleole  
they have insta too you know

eugene @ayybaby  
they DO?!

carlos @oleole  
they dont post much but yeah. sadly every one of their accounts are private so unless you get a free pass from them you arent seeing any of their posts.

eugene @ayybaby  
and youre...one of those who can see?

carlos @oleole  
lmao lance and i go way back he hasnt unfollowed me yet.

mel @coffeekid  
cant you tell us what theyre posting

carlos @oleole  
sorry, no. im not about to risk the ire of an entire squad, you understand

mel @coffeekid  
oh i see i see

bi babe @bibabe  
IM SO CURIOUS THO

carlos @oleole  
i CAN tell you that they all are, in fact, one big family.

lance @blueboii  
@oleole carlos???????

carlos @oleole  
hi loverboy lancey lance

bi babe @bibabe  
AKSIAKFBSBKAR W H A T

lance @blueboii  
CARLITO ESTRADA JOCINTO

carlos @oleole  
MAMA LA PINGA, LEANDRO

keith @heypup  
preferrably mine, please

lance @blueboii  
JAOOAZNAjdkskzsjaodkeajias ?!?!?!?!

lance @blueboii  
YOU UNDERSTAND CUBAN?!?!??

keith @heypup  
i wanted to learn,, yknow, for future purposes

bi babe @bibabe  
you know i keep assuming #klance wouldnt hit me with any more gay feels after everything

bi babe @bibabe  
BUT HERE WE ARE

lance @blueboii  
redundancy and routine are overrated

ice @icebaby  
I NEED TO GET THAT QUOTE ON A TSHIRT

mel @coffeekid  
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAPTAIN AMERICA ONE

ice @icebaby  
I HAD MIND DELIVERED YESTERDAY BUT ITS ON SALE RIGHT NOW

lance @blueboii  
i would like to take this time to declare how much i love both my families

lance @blueboii  
my famila back in varudero who probably think i fucked off somewhere: im still alive yall please maybe check your instagram i literally TAG YOU IN EVERY SINGLE ONE

eugene @ayybaby  
the fact that you have to assure them that youre alive has me concerned

lance @blueboii  
sshhhhhh only good vibes today

rose @andthorns  
im sobbing thats so valid, carry on

lance @blueboii  
to the space dad shiro, my god you are an icon and an idol and youre always pretty much there for me. for all of us.

tired @spacedad  
That means so much to me, Lance. Thank you.

lance @blueboii  
pidge you little gremline im always in awe over the shit you can pull off like??? you could be hanging upside down over a pit deadly chemicals and youd still be able to hack your way into a system no sweat

eugene @ayybaby  
that sounds oddly specific

rover died @pidgeon  
i dont need your compliments but???? they are powerful??? what is this feeling

lance @blueboii  
coran you beautiful gorgeous man youre like a second father to me and you always know what to say to make me feel better about myself

ice @icebaby  
who the fuck is coran

Coran @AdvisorMechanic  
That would be yours in the truest form of stardust!

ice @icebaby  
this guy reminds me of a weird mix between clint and tony and...someone.

Coran @AdvisorMechanic  
Lance, my good man, I give you my sweetest gratitutde from the bottom of my life-essence. You mean as much to me as I do to you!

mel @coffeekid  
what the fuck is he talking about

luna @starpower  
uhh "thank you, you too"?

dying @blackcoffee  
how in the ever flying shitbrick does that mean "thank you, you too"???

luna @starpower  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

lance @blueboii  
allura, wonderful, wonderful queen. if i didnt have a man id have swept you off your feet myself. or i would let you sweep me ❤❤

Allura @princess  
Thank you ever so kindly, Lance. I would gladly sweep you off your feet should you ever desire me to, "boo".

bi babe @bibabe  
help im so fuckibg gay

eggs @deviled  
what else is new

lance @blueboii  
hunkie, hunketh, my man, my bro, my cuddle buddy, you're the absolute BEST FRIEND i could ever ask for, i love you you beautiful big man dont ever change

rover died @pidgeon  
hunk's sobbing on the kitchen floor and hes clutching his phone. you broke him lance, good job.

lance @blueboii  
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

mel@coffeekid  
oh boy

carlo @oleole  
here we go

lance @blueboii  
my beautiful, gorgeous, sweetest star in the universe I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. i want to keep you in my arms and i never wanna let you go

lance @blueboii  
you and your stupid soft mullet and sparkly purple eyes and your strong af arms,,,, i would let you crush me any day,,,,

bi babe @bibabe  
man you really werent kidding when you said he got sappy

carlo @oleole  
told you

lance @blueboii  
light of my life, sun to my moon, light of the dark I dont know how the FUCK i landed you but you???? are here??? with me???

lance @blueboii  
youre so fucking special to me you have no idea dude i love you. i just. love. you.

lance @blueboii  
I love you, Keith [£~%¥•£]£~]. I really, really do.

bi babe@bibabe  
is it...is it over? my heart cant take much more fluff....

lance @blueboii  
yep 😊 im all done, thnx everyone, now im gonna go back to being a fucking troll k cya

eugene @ayybaby  
oh my god hes a man i aspire to be

mel @coffeekid  
does anyone know where keith is

tired @spacedad  
[img: twosappyidiots.jpeg]  
ﾍ(￣▽￣*)ﾉ

luna @starpower  
THATS SO CUTE HOLY CRICKLE STICKS

bi babe @bibabe  
SHIP SHIP SHIP #KLANCE #KLANCE #KLANCE

ice @icebaby  
AAAHHHHHHHHH

carlos @oleole  
:') is it bad that ive seen so much of this that all im doing is shedding a tear?

mel @coffeekid  
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF IM FUCKINL NG SOBBING IN MY BED AND ITS THREE AM THESE GUYS ARE TOO MUCH FOR ME  
.  
.  
.  
.  
peter @peteparker  
we missed out on such a cute moment 😢😢😢

michelle @ladybossjr  
im glad i wasnt there i honestly would have shed a tear and im am not About That

ned @guyinthechair  
you think they'd let us follow their insta?

tired @spacedad  
no, sorry. family friends and close relations only.

keith @heypup  
ill believe that if you follow matt or adam back

tired @spacedad  
ksjjsjfhsode KEITH

keith @heypup  
HEY IM NOT LYING

tired @spacedad  
i need a nap. again. wake me up never.

eugene @ayybaby  
relatable


	10. pidge's hacking skillz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do not underestimate the space gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place in 'live tweeting murder' uwu
> 
> im sorry if this thing all leads back to klance i swear they just give me prime material BUT I WILL TRY TO FOCUS ON THE OTHER PALADINS

eugene @ayybaby

so @blueboii how does it feel to witness spiderman masacarring the entire avengers team in a series of live tweets?

lance @blueboii  
very exhilirating

rover died @pidgeon  
keith hasnt laughed this much in months

keith @heypup  
IM FUCKINF WHEEZING

stress cooking @yellowboi  
im pretty sure shiro died

bi babe @bibabe  
okay but what about @princess?

Allura @princess  
I do not get it. The "Avengers" are clearly alive why is everyone saying that Spider-man has killed them? Is Spider-man such deplorable a person?

eugene @ayybaby  
what the fuck no!!

lance @blueboii  
sorry we havent caught her up in the latest news or memes yet she only knows the bare basics of earth's defenders but not enough to get the jokes

Plant King @PlantKing  
but the avengers are pretty much a universal thing??? how doesnt she know???

rover died @pidgeon  
shhhh dont pry into things you dont know the answer to

winnie @ windexx  
you guys are giving me a lot to work with

rover died @pidgeon  
ah, i forgot about you

winnie @windexx  
what are you

winnie @windexx  
WHAT THE FUCK?!

winnie @windexx  
OH YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE

luna @starpower  
why what happened

winnie @windexx  
THEY HACKED INTO MY PC AND DELETED EVERY FILE I HAD ON THEM

luna @starpower  
WHAT THE SHIT

mel @coffeekid  
every file?

winnie @windexx  
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

eugene @ayybaby  
JFC THATS TERRIFYING

winnie @windexx  
thanks for not touching my manuscripts tho

rover died @pidgeon  
im not that much of an asshole we just dont want u snoopin around

winnie @windexx  
its,, its not even snooping its practically public knowledge

bi babe @bibabe  
its what

rose @andthorns  
IS IT REALLY

eugene @ayybaby  
so all we need to do is find a solid connection???

rover died @pidgeon  
GODDAMN IT

winnie @windexx  
pay back ;)

rover died @pidgeon  
oh its fucking ON, bitch, come at me

lance @blueboii  
pidgey are u actually mad or

winnie @windexx  
theyre not

rover died @pidgeon  
im not

lance @blueboii  
wokie cool ill just go back to cuddling my fiancé

Plant King @PlantKing  
@blueboii getting out of cuddle time with his fiancé (!! congrats!!) just to check if @pidgeon needs brotherly intervention has me LIVING

keith @heypup  
lance is the best thing thats ever happened to all of us, period

tired @spacedad  
we know, keith, it isnt like you constantly remind us of that during every meal together ever

stress cooking @yellowboii  
and during training

Allura @princess  
Don't forget the meetings!

rover died @pidgeon  
i sometimes hear you guys through the walls and its gross

ice @icebaby  
BITCH THATS SO FUCKING PURE????

dying @blackcoffee  
Keith constantly reminds the world his s/o is the bestest thing ever, pass it on

keith @heypup  
damn right you should

bi babe @bibabe  
AKSIFJJAKSFJE VALID?!?!?!  
.  
.  
.  
.  
spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
oh no

mermaid @oceanography  
what happened?

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
mr. stark saw those tweets with the person who asked me about avengers secrets

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
mpre specifically, @princess 's tweets...about me.

eugene @ayybaby  
she doesnt know you exist tho

spider-man @actually  
i know ofc but mr stark isnt buying it

Allura @princess  
I'm sorry to cause so much distress. I can send a private message to Sir Tony Stark explaining my side, if he'd be open to.

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
!!! of course, ms. allura! but let me calm him down first he gets really...protective.

Allura @princess  
A good trait to see in a father.

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
AKIFDJNSDIRJS FATHER?!?!?!?!

eggs @deviled  
yo i think i saw spider-man on the rooftops. he's, uh, sobbing pretty hard. maybe you can schedule it another time?

Allura @princess  
Yes, of course. I'll leave you to it then.  
.  
.  
mermaid @oceanography  
i???? am awed???? in shock????

eugene @ayybaby  
we know.

mermaid @oceanography  
can i meet her???? shes like goddess given form (right beside my queen pepper potts ofc)

ice @icebaby  
weve been informed that we cannot, in fact, meet the elusive allura.

mermaid @oceanography   
thats kind of disappointing, but thats okay i understand

eugene @ayybaby  
none of us get why we can meet her but we respect them

bi babe @bibabe  
jjaocosnalfe exactly.


	11. rip rover, you will be missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rover deserved better
> 
> everyone else is concerned™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone just gets progressively more and more stressed as the space fam tweets about their lives. its not fun.

eggs @deviled  
hey @pidgeon i have a question

rover died @pidgeon  
what is it?

eggs @deviled  
just who is rover? and how did he die?

rover died @pidgeon   
uhhh...rover was...he was a drone i hacked?

eggs @deviled   
YO WHAT

rover died @pidgeon  
what

shane @bombshell  
YOU HACKED A DRONE?!?!

rover died @pidgeon  
yyyyeah?

keith @heypup  
i think you need to give them a little context

shane @bombshell  
NO SHIT I NEED TO KNOW WHY @pidgeon HACKED A DRONE

rover died @pidgeon  
i mean i just saw him around and took him along with me. thats literally it.

spooker @ryann  
so you just. casually strolled up to this patrolling drone, HACKED IT IN A SHORT SPAN OF TIME, and LEFT?

shane @bombshell  
named him rover too

spooker @ryann  
THATS NOT REALLY THE POINT HERE.

rover died @pidgeon  
what, like its hard?

eugene @ayybaby  
AJOSODCNRIAIDE IS THERE ANY OTHER SECRET THING UR FAM KEEPS UP THEIR SLEEVES

rose @andthorns  
wait so howd he die?

rover died @pidgeon  
he shut himself off bc this dude that was chasing me was holding onto him

rover died @pidgeon  
and they both fell down the uh. they fell of the...balcony?

spooker @ryann  
why do you sound so unsure about that is that not what happened

rover died @pidgeon  
no comment

spooker @ryann  
AKSKFJDNENCKD

mel @coffeekid  
wait why were you being chased and why didnt your fam help you

rover died @pidgeon  
oh lmao this was when lance was concussed, shiro with him and allura and keith were locked out of the house

eugene @ayybaby  
WAIT SERIOUSLY

rover died @pidgeon  
yep.

shane @bombshell  
why couldnt the ones locked out just find another way in?

rover died @pidgeon  
the house was built REALLY REALLY big. defences were also....impossible to get past.

ice @icebaby  
lmao i bet the black widow could get in

dying @blackcoffee  
or the hulk

L @snakeperson  
oh, no, i know what this person's talking about. trust me no one would have been able to get in except for maybe thor and stark, if he tries.

eugene @ayybaby  
ARE YOU SERIOUS JUST HOW TOP NOTCH ARE THESE DEFENSES

tired @spacedad  
you get in the middle of it in the process of blocking entry and youll find yourself chopped in half

eugene @ayybaby  
im beginning to think you enjoy us freaking out over your collective asses getting hurt or otherwise affected

eugene @ayybaby  
are you guys just overexaggerating your summer hijinks???

carlos @oleole  
take it from someone who follows their insta, theyre definitely NOT making this shit up

tired @spacedad  
we'd never lie to any of you

eugene @ayybaby  
jfc now im even more concerned

pan with a plan @hotnmessy   
SEE I TOLD YOU THERE WAS SOMETHING TO GET ANXIOUS OVER AND YOU DIDNT BELIVE ME

eugene @ayybaby  
IM SORRY OKAY IM A SKEPTIC AT HEART YOU KNOW THAT  
.  
.  
.  
shane @bombshell  
so, recap:

shane @bombshell  
user pidgeon apparently has the skills needed to hack into a patrolling drone (those are like military exclusive???) and just leave with it

shane @bombshell  
the drone, named rover, died tragically as he was somehow sentient enough to shut himself off to save @pidgeon

shane @bombshell  
this all happened apprarently during the incident where user blueboii was concussed (WHAT THE HELL)

shane @bombshell  
and this all happened in their supposedly huge ass and tightly secured house where "keith" and "allura" were locked outside.

rover died @pidgeon  
thats right

lance @blueboii  
you got it

keith @heypup  
basically

tired @spacedad  
theres more to it than that, but yeah, you got the gist of it.

eugene @ayybaby  
im fucking done making sense of your lives nothing will surprise me anymore

keith @heypup  
lance is a sniper

eugene @ayybaby  
WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO POINT THAT OUT

keith @heypup  
i cant be proud of my fiancé for having skills??

eugene @ayybaby  
normally no BUT WHY WOULD YOU POINT THAT OUT IN THIS CONTEXT

keith @heypup  
bad timing?

eugene @ayybaby  
BULLSHIT

rose @andthorns  
i think the question is how @snakeperson has met them and we???? havent????

L@snakeperson  
on a completely unrelated note i took a bunch of trips to midgard in my free time.

tired @spacedad  
i dont know whether to thank you or throttle you.

L @snakeperson  
im not adverse to both my dear ;)

bi babe @bibabe  
akkdjjdkwjjxejs LUCKY

mel @coffeekid  
that answer seems really simple that it has me really suspicious

Plant King @PlantKing  
right? ive seen a lot of things in my short span of life and it has taught me that things are never quite as simple as they seem

ice @icebaby  
so, either were reading into this too much and loki did actually meet them on some unknown land in the world, or,

ice @icebaby   
he was trying to mislead us with a nicely timed tweet that really has nothing to do with the first set of tweets other than to Fuck with our Brains.

Plant King @PlantKing  
stop, please, i got a migraine just reading that

mel @coffeekid  
akksjdidirehwjs same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can yall tell i low-key ship shiro/loki


	12. loki knows things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro hates a few things. this is one of them.

L @snakeperson  
it will never not be funny to me how midgardians take things completely out of context

L @snakeperson  
and make completely correct assumptions they themselves dont believe to be true but in reality it is quite accurate

lance @blueboii  
dude, come on, we gave you cake what more do you want

L @snakeperson   
im not doing anything, im just describing an observation i find utterly hilarious

lance @blueboii  
yeah but youre giving shiro war flashbacks of slav,,

tired @spacedad  
goddamn bullshit alternate percentage reality timeline spouting dickwad

rover died @pidgeon  
he does look like a human dildo doesn't he?

tim @fairies  
a...a what?

lance @blueboii  
STOP WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT

rover died @pidgeon  
you cant say you didnt see it

lance @blueboii  
I WISH I FUCKING DIDNT GODDAMNIT PIDGE THATS GOING TO SHOW UP IN MY DREAMS

rover died @pidgeon  
arent your dreams usually of keith

lance @blueboii  
I REFUSE TO LET MY FANTASIES OF MY FIANCE GET SOILED BY A HUMAN SIZED CENTIPIEDE DILDO CHICKEN

ice @icebaby  
what??? the fuck?¿??¿?

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
c e n t i p e d e d i l d o c h i c k e n

carlo @oleole  
thats going to be my new wedding quote, you realize

dying @blackcoffee  
you ever just wonder what the fuck is going on with That One Fam™

mel @coffeekid  
is that what we're calling them now

dying @blackcoffee  
yes and we've amassed an army for klance

KLANCE @die4klance  
theyre going to be our mascots for pride month!!

eugene @ayybaby  
thats great, and all, congrats to you guys

eugene @ayybaby  
but what the fuck kinda person looks like a centipede dildo chicken?

rover died @pidgeon  
slav

lance @blueboii  
slav

keith @heypup  
slav

stress cooking @yellowboii  
slav

eugene @ayybaby  
well alright then

tired @spacedad  
stop fucking reminding me

rover died @pidgeon  
no :)


	13. stark gets Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which tony is a little more concerned, shiro need another nap, pidge is a fucking badass and keith is ready to fight.
> 
> oh also lance is bby we love him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happens during the chapter "diana prince:a baby!"
> 
> basically lance was wondering how old peter really was. this chapter is an aftermath of that.

rover died @pidgeon  
lance :real shit how old is spidey?  
me :u fucking hypocrite

lance @blueboii  
I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING I WAS JUST CURIOUS

zach @cornchild  
what does that mean????

mel @coffeekid  
lance is 20 presumably

zach @cornchild  
...yeah??

ice @icebaby  
o you poor innocent child

eugene @ayybaby  
he really doesnt know does he

zach @cornchild  
what are you talking about??

irondad @TStark  
id like to know as well

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
mr staaaaark stop bothering normal civillians

irondad @TStark  
so then tell me why a few months ago you begged me to track this @blueboii's location only to find out we couldnt fucking track him??? at all??

zach @cornchild  
what the fuck?!??

eugene @ayybaby  
oop.

lance @blueboii  
NO I PROMISE ITS NOTHING BAD

eugene @ayybaby  
nothing bad, he says. does a bomb count as "nothing bad"??

zach @cornchild  
YOU DEALT WITH A BOMB?!

lance @blueboii  
WE REALLY DONT NEED TO HAVE THIS DISCUSSION TONIGHT

irondad @TStark  
in light of everything, i really sure as shit think we do.

irondad @TStark  
ive read through your tweets. you guys have been dealing with very serious threats from what it sounds like, and you guys are dealing with it ALONE?

irondad @TStark  
give me one good reason why i shouldnt be concerned.

tired @spacedad  
we can handle it ourselves, sir.

irondad @TStark  
can you? can you really? then why was @blueboii concussed? why did a hacked drone have to save @pidgeon's life?

irondad @TStark  
if you ask me, none of that reassures me that you've got things handled, "shiro".

tired @spacedad  
i...

rover died @pidgeon  
shiro you suck at this, let me handle it

rover died @pidgeon  
What we do with our personal lives is absolutely none of your business. Don't ever try to pry into something we don't want you to butt into.

irondad @TStark  
or what?

rover died @pidgeon  
Or what, what? Nothing you'll do will ever affect us, currently. You can't hack our accounts. You don't know who we are. We're just a bunch of names on a screen.

rover died @pidgeon  
And that can't get you far, can it?

rover died @pidgeon  
I understand that as an Avenger you guys want to know to keep us safe. I get that.

rover died @pidgeon  
But you don't have the right to invade our privacy. Not if we haven't even broken ANY international laws. And you know this.

rover died @pidgeon  
If you're smarter than I am the first thing you would have done is run a world-wide crosscheck concerning the events we told.

rover died @pidgeon  
You never found anything about us, did you? Now you're stuck trying to fish the answers out of us. You don't even know if we're telling the truth.

rover died @pidgeon  
But we won't tell you. Not yet. Not when we still need to handle it ourselves.

irondad @TStark  
and who gave you that responsibility?

rover died @pidgeon  
That's for you to know once we finish.

irondad @TStark  
I could ask Loki.

rover died @pidgeon  
Cut yourself some slack, Tony Stark. We both know that idea's trash.

rover died @pidgeon  
now leave it the fuck alone and let us enjoy your dad moments with your kid.

irondad @TStark  
fine. just be sure to call if you absolutely need the help, alright? we'll come. no questions asked.

rover died @pidgeon  
:) we know. thats why youre one of our favorite avengers.

keith @heypup  
but make shiro feel like that again and im going to slap a bitch

irondad @TStark  
noted  
.  
.  
.  
Plant King @PlantKing  
holy shit

eugene @ayybaby  
my thoughts exactly. hot damn, pidge

mermaid @oceanographer  
i love tony stark and all, but goddamn that felt like such a powerful beatdown. with words

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
im just really fucking concerned, like seriously are they okay?

eggs @deviled  
we may never know for now. i think all thats left to do is wait until theyre ready to tell us.

zach @cornchild  
sPEAK FOR YOURSELF I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON

eugene @ayybaby  
[image compilation of tweets]

zach @cornchild  
i. this. ????????????

zach @cornchild  
i need a fuckibg nap, excuse me  
.  
.  
.  
ice @icebaby  
...hey, mel...

mel @coffeekid  
akdkfjsdjj i KNOW but leave it i dont want to break my brain today

winnie @windexx  
@pidgeon do you still want me to pull through with my theories

rover died @pidgeon  
oh yeah, go ahead. well tell you when to break the news though

winnie @windexx  
do i still get my money?

rover died @pidgeon  
i mean. if you can figure out the conversion rates, sure.

winnie @windexx  
cool

eggs @deviled  
???? just look it up on google???

winnie @windexx  
hahhahahaha thats funny

eugene @ayybaby  
jfc can we stop getting ominous tweets????

lance @blueboii  
nope!

eugene @ayybaby  
i guess this is the life i live now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so proud there was barely any klance fluff in here


	14. where keith got his moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> look who it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place during "your friendly neighborhood deadpool"
> 
> also some "humans are space orcs/ earth is space australia" stuff

lance @blueboii  
hey shiro a thought just occured to me

tired @spacedad  
yes?

lance @blueboii  
who in the seven hells taught keith how to fight Like That?

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
that would be me!

tired @spacedad  
that would be him

lance @blueboii  
uh...who exactly are you?

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
im deadpool! deadpool the merc with a mouth

lance @blueboii  
...so youll kill people if we pay you?

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
i used to, but i made a promise not to

lance @blueboii  
its alright, dude.

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
though if you REALLY want to "poison" that snooty prince on your tails, you might want to order a side dish jalapeños. lots of 'em.

lance @blueboii  
SHIRO WHY DOES HE KNOW

tired @spacedad  
ive learned to stop questioning it, honestly.

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
space dad BEST DAD

tired @spacedad  
thank you

keith @heypup  
wade get the fuck away from my boyfriend

deadpool@deadpool  
aweeeee :( but you never visit

keith @heypup  
YOU KNOW WHY I CANT VISIT YOU YOU WALNUT  
.  
.  
.  
lance @blueboii  
...so apparently spicy stuff is a poison??? here??? thats so fucking wild

stress cooking @yellowboii  
what a nice thought :)

keith @heypup  
yes :) nice :)

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
you know author, your readers must be terribly confused you unreliable narrator. ill clear things ups for them

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
see, lotor is actually a dick in this one. sorry lotor lovers. and he tried to flirt with lance. in frknt of keith. and hunk.

so! both red and yellow want to kill him. lance was asking me if i could kill lotor for them, but im in a sacred pact with your friendly neighborhood spiderman!! sadly no spideypool, but we are respecting people here and tbh this pete just aint my type. not as fun as the others :( But thats okay, hes a sweet kid!!

so there you have it!! exposition!!

lance @blueboii  
who the fuck are you talking to, and how the fuck did you break the character limit?

lance @blueboii  
hello????

lance @blueboii  
...where are hunk and keith?

tired @spacedad  
its fine, dont worry about it

lance @blueboii  
YOU KNOW STATEMENTS LIKE THAT ONLY MAKE ME WORRY MORE

lance @blueboii  
@heypup keith??? @yellowboii buddy???

lance @blueboii  
for fuck's sake

Plant King @PlantKing   
wait where would spicy food be considered poisonous???

keith @heypup  
here?

ice @icebaby  
yeah no fucking shit but where is HERE?!?!?!

rover died @pidgeon  
hmmmm

eugene @ayybaby  
oh holy shit. what the fuck???? thats not... @coffeekid ????

mel @coffeekid  
stop thinking about it i dont want to break twiter today

eugene @ayybaby  
fair enough

eugene @ayybaby  
but holy shit


	15. discourse and slander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit gets talked. nothing gets done. also, hogwarts houses!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yes double update i love ur comments so much i thirst
> 
> also yall cna suggest what happens in the later chapters u kno that right??? i dont have plot here just a vague timeline of what shit gets down

keith @heypup  
so i just woke up and went to the kitchen

tim @fairies  
thats what normal people would do once waking up, yes

keith @heypup  
i found a gremlin  
[cryptkidcorner.jpeg]

ice @icebaby  
jfc what are they eating it looks like soiled milk

keith @heypup  
are you sure it isnt

ice @icebaby  
PLEASE GET HEALTHY FOODS OH MY GOD

keith @heypup  
im kidding. thats a special kind of vegetarian food the princess has

keith @heypup  
not like we have much else

dying @blackcoffee  
thats nice and all, but why the FUCK ARE YOU UP AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR

keith @heypup  
its?? 6 am???

dying @blackcoffee  
UNGODLY. HOURS.

mel @coffeekid  
why is there a person on that counter pls get them down

keith @heypup  
okay  
.  
.  
.  
lance @blueboii  
Which one of you fucks sent Keith to disturb Pidge.

lance @blueboii  
Don't do that. We don't disturb the gremlin for a reason.

lance @blueboii  
keith has a broken arm and pidge is sulking and hovering

mel @coffeekid  
IM SO SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

lance @blueboii  
Please don't do it next time I've had enough seeing my fiancé getting hurt HE'S STILL HEALING FROM THE LAST STAB WOUND

keith @heypup  
IT WASN'T THAT BAD

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yeah hi id like to call bullshit you were in critical condition

waffles @waffleman  
YOU'VE BEEN STABBED?!

keith @heypup  
oh, yeah, definitely

lance @blueboii  
Keith.

keith @heypup  
right sorry

waffles @waffleman  
no but seriously ARE YOU OKAY?

eugene @ayybaby  
is this vaguely better than lance being concussed

lance @blueboii  
no

keith @heypup  
yes

Plant King @Plant King  
two kinds of people

rover died @pidgeon  
not if i can help it

mel @coffeekid  
three. three kinds of people.

stress cooking @yellowboii  
please stop no one should be getting hurt in the first place

ice @icebaby  
and THEREs the hufflepuff

stress cooking @yellowboii  
uwu  
.  
.  
.  
lance @blueboii  
ive calmed down somewhat, and have to ask, what are yalls hogwarts houses?

lance @blueboii  
keiths a typical griffindor, pidge is the hiss hiss person, hunkie is the uwu house and im the bird

Plant King @PlantKing  
what the fuck did i just read

tim @fairies  
brilliance

that is not correct @bcaccording  
inch resting...

mel @coffeekid  
what about shiro

keith @heypup  
faculty. hes old.

mel @coffeekid  
lol yeah fair enough. im a hufflepuff btw!!

ice @icebaby  
ravenclaw for some unknown reason im a dumbass why am i in the smart house

lance @blueboii  
hey im a mega dumbass too!! bros bitch!

ice @icebaby  
BROS BEFORE BITCHES

keith @heypup  
lance weve talked about this.

lance @blueboii  
talked about what?

keith @heypup  
youre super smart. i will fight everyone on this. and i will win. bc you are smart.

lance blueboii  
HAHAHA NO IM NOT DONT LIE TO ME

keith @heypup  
im bad at lying. you know this.

lance @blueboii  
kaddicjsbcdjksdnbw NEXT PLEASE

keith @heypup   
:/

rover died @pidgeon  
oh thank god that was over BUT BITCH IM RAVENCLAW??? I CANT BE SNEAKY TO SAVE A LIFE

tired @spacedad  
you snuck around the [<strike>castle</strike>] house...

rover died @pidgeon  
YEAH AND I GOT CAUGHT WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES SHIRO, GET WITH THE PROGRAM

keith @heypup  
agreed. pidge is just really fucking slippery when they want to be.

rover died @pidgeon  
damn right

lance @blueboii  
bur ur green so with the snakes you go

mel @coffeekid  
thats,,,, thats not how it works

lance @blueboii  
too bad, it does now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have any of yall noticed how lance types in varying stages of emotion


	16. salt island central

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are not looking pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FAIR WARNING PLEASE READ
> 
> at the time i was writing this chapter i got myself triggered by certain news articles and online stuff concerning the state of my country so.... erk. if you dont like political stuff feel free to skip this chapter.
> 
> if you dont share my views its fine, im channeling my worst feelings through hunky boi in this. when i look at it objectively its not *as bad* as it is written here, please dont worry.
> 
> also, i didnt make hunk american, samoan, etc here but filipino bc...?? i wanted to... pls dont hurt me i legit thought hunk was a filipino when i first saw him but then im like "but garett is an american name" and then i found out that he was widely considered like, a bunch of other things so im sorry for that. i really am. i like my filipino hunk ;v; hope youll let me be
> 
> happens around the part whereeeee cap america loses his shit on twitter bc of a crusty orange tangerine

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
@yellowboii glad to see you alive and kicking, asshole

stress cooking @yellowboii  
!!!! JUNIOR SORRY NAWALA SA ISIP KO

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
GAGO IILAN LANG KAMI DITO SA PINAS

stress cooking @yellowboii  
AKAKFJRJSR IM SORRY OKAY

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
whatever. here, what u missed for like, the last 2 years [googledrive link]

lance @blueboii  
juni my man hi hello how you doin

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
better than you apparrently

lance @blueboii  
;v; true true. what do you mean theres only a few of you back there??

stress cooking @yellowboii  
🙃🙃🙃 wow okay i think i feel better being gone

tired @spacedad  
what's wrong hunk, whats

tired @spacedad  
...i see your point.

lance @blueboii  
:0 is it bad are you all okay

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
its chill we're fine. mostly. but uh.

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
@pinkie ate chay help

tee hee @pinkie  
ha? 

tee hee @pinkie  
OH HUNK HII MISS NA KITA BILI KA PASALUBONG AH

stress cooking @yellowboii  
ate chay please. what happened.

tee hee @pinkie  
jun ur such a wuss. napa ospital ung bunsoy mo beshie.

stress cooking @yellowboii  
HE WHAT. JUNIOR.

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND KUYA

stress cooking @yellowboii  
NO THE FUCK ITS NOT

keith @heypup  
hey so i dont know what happened here but hunk had to let go of his phone bc he was breaking it. lance is trying to calm him down

mel @coffeekid  
whats going on?

rover died @pidgeon  
i skimmed through that doc. uh. ph political climate's looking pretty shitty.

keith @heypup  
how bad

rover died @pidgeon  
not as bad as some places but like. it hits the bottom.

keith @heypup  
oh no

tee hee @pinkie  
:( yup a bunch of us just high-tailed outta there. mama jun and i are just here bc jun's a dumbass and recovering still.

keith @heypup  
i hope he feels better...sorry if i dont know your names

tee hee @pinkie  
its fine bro just call me chay or Alissa. 

d30 can suck my dick @tangnamopre  
junior at ur service but my name is oswald

keith @heypup  
nice to meet you?

keith @heypup  
@blueboii lance is hunk okay

lance @blueboii   
not at all but hes coming back

rover died @pidgeon  
rant incoming

STRESS @yellowboii  
i hate this. i hate what's happening. why is it happening at all? what the fuck, ph what the hell happed to you people

STRESS @yellowboii  
i knew before that my country was slowly going down the drain, but this? this is insanity. whp the fuck decided it was okay? ITS NOT

STRESS @yellowboii  
HEY WAR-MONGERING ASSHOLE, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU. STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOURE MAKING THE COUNTRY BETTER.

STRESS @yellowboii  
SPOILER ALERT, YOU'RE NOT.

STRESS @yellowboii  
if you want to get rid of the problem, mass killing isnt the way to do it. dont fucking tell the police to have free reign over who they "think" is guilty without a fair goddamn trial.

STRESS @yellowboii  
you're just wasting lives. for what? a utopia that exists in mere fantasy? grow the fuck up.

STRESS @yellowboii  
i used to be so proud of being a pinoy, but lately all there is about the ph is everything im ashamed of. im so disappointed.

STRESS @yellow  
at kung nababasa nito ng mga pinoy diyan, lalo na ang sumusuporta sa ginagawa ni d30, ayusin niyo nga sarili niyo.

STRESS @yellowboii  
tatanga na nga, diktador pa yung ginawa niyong presidente. where is the freedom? nasaan yung pinaglaban ng kkk?

STRESS @yellowboii  
i need a nap. sorry for the outburst, everyone.  
.  
.  
.  
eugene @ayybaby  
:( lately a lot of political bullshit keeps affecting a lot of good people.

mel @coffeekid  
i didn't even know the ph got this bad...

tired @spacedad  
this is why you should always pay attention to the news. it doesnt have to be tv, as long as youre aware of the things that have been happening.

allura @princess  
Indeed. My [<strike>planet</strike>] country had its fair share of political disputes as well. Everyone was aware of it, and since where I'm from, diplomacy is primary, we didn't have much problems.

ice @icebaby  
your country sounds so cool

allura @princess  
It was! Lush mountains peppered with flowers, mounds and flat areas were rich with vegetation.

ice @icebaby  
was?

allura @princess  
Unfortunately, the place I called home was destroyed in a devastating war. One that I still have to pick up the pieces of.

ice @icebaby  
shit, that sucks. that really really sucks.

ice @icebaby  
...wait... @coffeekid MEL

mel @coffeekid  
I KNOW I SAW

allura @princess  
Oh my, had I revealed too much?

ice @icebaby  
ms allura, honey...you basically just chunked a huge puzzle piece at us.

allura @princess  
I do not have any of these puzzle pieces though?

mel @coffeekid  
aodoodixenskfd where the hell did the fam find you

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Why, we were encountered by the team quite a few quintents ago! Spitting flameburst and hay did I manage to tell.

eugene @ayybaby  
@starpower pls translate

luna @starpower   
"We met them some time ago, and they were very lively in my perspective."

ice @icebaby  
how the fuck can you figure it out

luna @starpower  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

mel @coffeekid  
that doesnt even answer the question

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
They popped up just as we let the dust clear from our eyes in, oh, about 10 decaphoebes.

mel @coffeekid  
do i want to know what a decaphoebe is

luna @starpower  
you really fucking dont.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation notes:
> 
> junior sorry nawala sa isip ko = junior sorry, it slipped my mind
> 
> gago iilan lang kami dito sa pinas = (asshole/other expletive) , theres only a few of us here in the philippines
> 
> ate = referring to an older female, usually a sister
> 
> miss na kita bili ka pasalubong ah = i miss you buy us souvenirs ah/okay?
> 
> na ospital bunsoy mo beshie = your youngest brother (who is junior) was hospitalized, beshie (term of endearment/filipino gay slang)
> 
> kuya = prefix like ate but male form like "kuya hunk"
> 
> at kung nababasa nito ng mga pinoy diyan, lalo na ang sumusuporta sa ginagawa ni d30, ayusin niyo nga sarili niyo = and if you pinoys (filipinos) are reading this, especially those supporting d30, fix yourselves
> 
> tatanga na nga, diktador pa yung ginawa niyong presidente. where is the freedom? nasaan yung pinaglaban ng kkk? = as if you werent stupid enough, you made a dictator your president....what did the kkk (freedom rebel group in thee philippines) fight for?


	17. hm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hm.

Allura @princess  
As much as I do adore people trying to squabble around figuring out what Coran is trying to say, I feel the need to tell you. 

Allura @princess  
He's been 'fucking' with you this entire time.

tim @fairies  
I FUCKING KNEW IT IM TELLING WANDA

ice @icebaby  
but why?????

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Because I simply can, my good person! I do need that daily sodium chloride over my consumable objects.

Plant King @PlantKing  
so i stan a legend,,

carlos @oleole  
@blueboii mr coran is my favorite person now

lance @blueboii  
thats fine, hes my fav person too

Allura @princess  
You're quite lucky Keith doesn't see this.

lance @blueboii  
oh no he is lol hes right beside me

lance @blueboii  
[hepouty.jpeg]

Allura @princess  
I suppose you don't want to be separated from the next assignment then?

lance @blueboii  
nope. can we do it together?

Allura @princess  
You both are actually 20% more effective when paired together, so yes.

lance @blueboii  
WE'LL GO GET READY

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Ah, I remember those days where I, too, loved being with my partners while working.

Allura @princess  
Coran, you and Dad never got anything done.

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Details, details! We had the most rejuvinating experiences in all the cycles I've had awareness.

Allura @princess  
Whatever you say, Coran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY ULL GET A DOUBLE UPDATE HHHH
> 
> LIFE GOT IN THE WAY SO MUCH
> 
> also to those who got offended by chap 16 im so sorry but im not putting it down it HAS to be addressed also its,,,,,, hunk backstory,,,,, you can pry my filipino hunk right out of my hands damn it


	18. all hail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura doesn't get human customs.

Allura @princess  
Can anyone help me?

Allura @princess  
Please. My friends, Lance and the others, they're acting quite oddly.

eggs @deviled  
what's up, @princess?

Allura @princess  
We just came across this highly condensed dust particle cloud. Pidge took one look at it and tugged Lance's arm.

Allura @princess   
And then they began chanting?

eggs @deviled  
what the fuck were they chanting

Allura @princess  
"All hail, all hail". Do any of your people have rituals that concern shouting hail at a colorful bright cloud of condensed dust particles?

tim @fairies  
hold on, bright?

Allura @princess  
Yes? Its also quite colorful. Keith, Hunk, and Shiro are also partaking in this rather odd ritual.

Allura @princess  
And Shiro is usually my measuring stick for my...er, cultural differences to you all.

eggs @deviled  
shit. uh. is the cloud poisonous???

Allura @princess   
Not that I know of. It simple is pretty colorful.

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Not necessarily, princess! Readings dictate a strange type of energy being emitted by the cloud.

eggs @deviled  
shit uhhhh @actuallyspiderman

spider -man @actuallyspiderman  
i cannot fucking believe

eggs @deviled  
do you know what it is

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
YES ITS THE FUCKING GLOW CLOUD

mel @coffeekid  
AKAKDNDSKX HOWD THEY FIND A GLOW CLOUD THATS AMAZING

eggs @deviled  
??? Glow cloud???

tim @fairies  
night vale

eggs @deviled  
WHAT THE FUCK HOW DIDNT I SEE THAT

Allura @princess  
What is this Glow Cloud?

mel @coffeekid  
all hail the glow cloud

lance @blueboii  
all hail

rover died @pidgeon  
all hail

keith @heypup  
all hail

STRESSED @yellowboii  
all hail

tired @spacedad  
all hail

Allura @princess  
??????????


	19. this is getting ridiculous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the space fam has a fandom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, finals are killing me, its a big goddamn project that does not cater to my specialties.

rover died @pidgeon  
so, allura's been a little stir crazy lately

tim @fairies  
why is that

stress cooking @yellowboii  
keith and lance are gone

eugene @ayybaby  
gone, gone?

tired @spacedad  
no we just cant find them

stress cooking @yellowboii  
THAT ISNT REALLY MAKING IT ANY BETTER

rover died @pidgeon  
how sure are we that theyre not fucking somewhere

stress cooking @yellowboii  
because lance is a screamer

tired @spacedad  
did... did we really need to know that

stress @yellowboii  
its not even strictly about sex he just. screams.

dying @blackcoffee  
valid

tired @spacedad  
have you tried the hangars

mel @coffeekid  
arent u guys worried everyone's gonna find out what youre up to

rover died @pidgeon  
i think the rest of us collectively agreed that we just plain dont give a shit anymore.

also shiro theyre not here

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Oh, didn't I tell you all? Numbers 3 and 4 headed down for a little together time. Their words, not mine. They left vargas ago. @princess is worried about something else!

tired @spacedad  
which is...?

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Something about fermented reserves and poison, actually.

stress cooking @yellowboii  
OH NO DONT LET HER TOUCH THOSE

rover died @pidgeon  
PLEASE CORAN WE WORKED SO HARD ON THOSE

Coran @Mechanicadvisor  
I'm so sorry, you two, if you're referring to that clear container the size of two bipedal avians, then I'm afraid she already tossed those out the airlock.

stress cooking @yellowboii  
OH MY GOD

tired @spacedad  
what did you two do

stress cooking @yellowboii  
booze

tired @spacedad  
shit

rover died @pidgeon  
dad currrseeeed

stress cooking @yellowboii  
shiro said the shit word

tired @spacedad  
why are you all like this  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
ice @icebaby  
hey @blueboii is there anyone you're horny for

lance @blueboii  
is this a trick question

keith @heypup  
if it isnt im killing anyone lance names that isnt my name. or hunks.

lance @blueboii  
shiro?

keith @heypup  
bold of you to assume he wont welcome it with open arms

lance @blueboii  
oaoxndoaofje fair

bi babe @bibabe  
where are you two currently

keith @heypup  
on a??? date??

bi babe @bibabe  
would you be open for a qna

keith @heypup  
i didnt think we'd be popular enough for that

eugene @ayybaby  
have you,,, seen tumblr?? looked #klance up? at all?

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
i hear klance whats up

eugene @ayybaby  
they arent aware of the space fam conspiracy thread

keith @heypup  
oh, that.

rover died @pidgeon  
bold of you to assume we werent the ones who started it

eugene @ayybaby  
AKKSKFKSODIWJJ

ice @icebaby  
BULLSHIT

over the hills @motherduck  
no way

cant believe @itgotreal  
shit seriously

tim @fairies  
SPILL SPILL SPILL

klance life best life @KLANCE  
y'all cant do me dirty like this

WE STAN @spacefam  
why dont u know who your fans are

lance @blueboii  
well.....

keith @heypup  
normally conspiracy threads dont get qnas,,,,

ice @icebaby  
ffs you guys are ALIVE and EXISTING what else are we supposed to do

keith @heypup  
wait?

eugene @ayybaby  
sounds boring

lance @blueboii  
keef just rolled his eyes and is sulking

keith @heypup  
I am NOT SULKING

rover died @pidgeon  
yeah you are

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yeah you are

tired @spacedad  
you're sulking kiddo

Allura @princess  
Yes, you are.

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
You most certainly are, Number 4!

lance @blueboii  
get rekt, babe

keith @heypup  
i hate this fucking family

lance @blueboii  
bae's lyin, he just snuggled closer to me

keith @heypup  
LANCE I TRUSTED YOU

lance @blueboii  
a horrible decision, really

dying @blackcoffee  
you two are fucking adorable, the discord server's losing their collective shit

WE STAN @spacefam  
its pretty wild

winnie @windexx  
okay, NOW will you all stop shitting me about not using r/spacefam? @heypup and @pidgeon are LITERALLY THE ADMINS?!?!?!

tim @fairies  
sorry winnie

winnie @windexx  
thank you


	20. hoomans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the start of the confirmation that earth is space australia

Allura @princess  
I need something explained.

Plant King @PlantKing  
whats up?

Allura @princess  
Why the quiznak do you all insist on poisoning yourself with gigantic amounts of ethanol?

Plant King @PlantKing  
wait, what? who said we were poisoning ourselves??

Allura @princess  
With Ethanol! Ethanol is a highly concentrated chemical that, when ingested, severely disrupts an individual's cognitive processes to the point of incoherency! Sometimes to a deadly degree!

mel @coffeekid  
WHAT. WHO SAID WE DID THAT.

Allura @princess  
The paladins. I was told they wanted gallons of ethanol, and I was told they wanted to ingest it themselves so I firmly disagreed on this matter. Now they are sulking in the common room.

eugene @ayybaby  
does ethanol do anything else?

Coran @MechanicAdvisor  
Indeed! A few vargas after consumption, one will feel quite inebriated, often with nausea, vertigo, and often times severe cases of fatigue.

ice @icebaby  
...wait, that sounds...awfully like a hangover doesn't it?

eugene @ayybaby  
lemme look it up

eugene @ayybaby  
Common Hangover Symptoms  
Constitutional: Fatigue, weakness, and thirst.  
Pain: A headache and muscle aches.  
Gastrointestinal: Nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain.  
Sleep and Biological Rhythms: Decreased sleep, decreased deep sleep and increased slow-wave sleep.  
Sensory: Vertigo and sensitivity to light and sound.

holy shit

mel @coffeekid  
wait what

ice @icebaby  
mel, the space fam was talking about booze

mel @coffeekid  
WHAT THE SHIT

Allura @princess  
I'm still waiting for an explanation? Why are my paladins so insistent on ingesting such a vile poison?

spider-man @actuallyspiderman  
because its not actually a poison where we're concerned miss princess allura!!!

Allura @princess  
Excuse me?

irondad @TStark  
ethanol is one of those chemicals that humans can safely ingest up to a certain degree, and responsibly.

Allura @princess  
I don't understand why, however. Ethanol makes you inebriated to the point of incoherency, to repeat myself!

irondad @TStark  
thats the point. we WANT to get inebriated. and if your "paladins" or whatever are as stressed as i think they are...they really might need it.

lance @blueboii  
PLEASE ALLURA WE CAME OF AGE

tired @spacedad  
princess i promise we'll make sure we dont ingest too much. let us have some

keith @heypup  
you mean i will.

tired @spacedad  
yep

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
??

keith @heypup  
shiro's going to get wsted as fuck. im not.

eugene @ayybaby  
why not?

keith @heypup  
i dont like drinking. never have, never will.

mel @coffeekid  
but i thought shiro doesn't drink?? @yellowboii said as much?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yes but that was before i found out shiro only drinks when the stress becomes too much. and if we're in a safe setting.

mel @coffeekid  
so....you're in a safe setting now?

rover died @pidgeon  
the Castle's as safe as can be, yeah

ice @icebaby  
CASTLE?!?!?!?

rover died @icebaby  
don't forget to emphasize the c

ice @icebaby  
w h a t

Allura @princess  
Are you SURE you'll still be able to function after this?

keith @heypup  
trust me they will be very functional. if a bit grumpy.

Allura @princess  
Then...against my better judgement, I SUPPOSE you all may indulge in this...quite frankly, horrifying ritual.

Allura @princess  
Honestly, out of all the [aliens] unique people have met to this day, NONE of them compare to [humans] you people and your strange habits.

tim @fairies  
and THAT'S the mother fuckin TEA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not dead but if u wanna give me ideas abt where i should take the paladins next pls comment lmao. ideas for future chapters too bc,,,, im all out of juice


	21. shenanigans incorporated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the drunk chaoter everyone was waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! nit dead!!!
> 
> also ive never been drunk before so i honestly dk how they act. take what i make the paladins do here while drubk with a grain of salt. no research was made, i played it all by ear and keith's general grumpiness over the entirety of this chapter. enjoy!!

keith @heypup  
theyre so fucking wasted holy shit

keith @heypup  
[holyshit.mp4]  
[_A video of Shiro twerking and shouting "AREEEEEEEBAAAA!". Pidge throws rocks and fur._

_"Pidge that's not confetti," Keith says behind the camera._

_"It can be if I throw it hard enough!"_

_"PIDGE NO"_

_"Blueeeeeee," the camera pans over to Lance curled up on the floor. "Where's Blue? She's...she's not heeeeeere" Lance whines, wriggling._

_A sigh. "Lance, Blue is in the hangar like the others," Keith says exasperated._

_"But Keiiiiith,"_

_"Jesus christ get off the floor and on the couch,"_

_Lance perks up. "Are we fucking on the couch?"_

_"Oh my god," Keith mumbles. "Wait, where's Hunk?"_]

Plant King @PlantKing  
Oh dear god

mel @coffeekid  
oh no where's hunk????

luna @starpower  
Oh damn.

winnie @windexx  
...Oh? ehuehuehuehue

eugene @ayybaby  
you're kind of fucking terrifying @windexx not gonna lie

winnie @windexx  
thank you (:

eggs @deviled  
no but is that shiro

bi babe @bibabe  
indeed it is

eggs @deviled  
oH mY gOd?!?!?!

tim @fairies  
so im not the only one. good to know

eggs @deviled  
11/10 would fuck holy shit do you see those thighs???

bi babe @bibabe  
you're strangely horny today. i mean, same, honestly, but like. wow?

eggs @deviled  
listen im a decent person on a good day but even i have my limits for resisting insanely hot people

bi babe @bibabe  
FUCKING MOOD

tim @fairies  
what kinda room is that?

keith @heypup  
the common room. allura's dad had weird tastes

rover died @pidgeon  
hellz fkin yehsj they ade theeedes a jaxuzze in ethe kitchesdn

keith @heypup  
get off twitter

rover died @pidgeon  
UREnsn bkt the bsjoss of nne!!

keith @heypup  
yeah but your actual boss is as wasted as you, hand over the phone

rover died @pidgeon  
fknin MKEAKE ME ASSHOLE  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
stress cooking @yellowboii  
heyyyyyyyy pdiges here!!!!!!!! 0hiiii pidgeyyyyyy

stress cooking @yellowboii  
oooiiiiiik keefs heerretoooooo  
[keg.jpg]

ice @icebaby  
omg is that lance on keith's back

stress cooking @yellowboii  
yuûh  
[kllcnce.mp4]  
[_"Where is she," Keith storms into the kitchen, panicked. The camera jolts, and an off-camera Hunk is heard slurring._

_"hhhhhhheeeeeeyyy keith," Hunk says, drawing out his vowels. "How're yaaa?"_

_Keith grimaces and glares at the camera. "Fuck off," he grunts._

_"Whoooose Ohf?" Lance mumbles drowsily from where he was doing an impression of a koala against Keith's back. He whines into the crook of Keith's neck. "Nnnu, Keith can only fuck meeeeeeeee, no one else. Mi cariño, mi cielo, estrellita, mi amoooorrrr" a number of spanish words tumble out of Lance's mouth. The camera catches every second of Keith's reddening face._

_"He lllllliiiikes youuuuuuu," whispers the vents, cackling like a hyena seconds later._

_Hunk screams loudly making Keith jolt and Pidge, behind the vents, bang her head on the metal. Immediately, moans of pain echoes throughout the room, giving it a more eerie feeling._

_Lance, off camera since Hunk dropped it in the middle of screaming, wails in distress and a few seconds later what can only be Keith choking on air is heard, accompanied by the stilted words of "Lan - **ghk**! Babe, too tigh**kght—**" before the video abruptly ends._]  
.  
.  
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.  
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ice @icebaby  
...wasnt that the kitchen

luna @starpower  
for the entire 5 minutes of concerning development this video brought us THATS what youre most concerned about?!?!

ice @icebaby  
hell yes i want to know why the fuck there was a jacuzzi in the goddamn kitchen

tired @spacedad  
thats for boiling people

eggs @deviled  
hey ho what now

tired @spacedad  
shhhhhhhhh

eggs @deviled  
you cant shush me, you're drunk!

tired @spacedad  
watch me

bi babe @bibabe  
...eggs? dude its been 20 minutes

bi babe @bibabe  
@deviled eggs?

tim @fairies  
om god spacedad killed him

tired @spacedad   
;)

luna @starpower  
fuck thats terrifying  
.  
.  
.  
.  
eugene @ayybaby  
no but for real anyone else notice that window??? 

mel @coffeekid  
we're trying not to

ice @icebaby  
you're not helping  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
**beter** >> **stank man**

beter : MR STARK I KNOW WHERE THE SPACEFAM ARE NOW

beter : THEYRE IN SPACE MR STARK 

stank man : ...theyre what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo are we finally getting a clue??


	22. the tipping point (shit gets real)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone begins losing their shit feat. bickering klance (but its super minimal), Done With Your Shit Shiro, and alien-speak. 
> 
> It's as weird as it sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro Scene:
> 
> are you getting this?
> 
> what, you found another – wait. what is that?
> 
> my thoughts exactly.
> 
> ...do you think this could be–
> 
> no. not possible. i finished— WE finished him already. he's not going to come back.
> 
> well then, o wise one, what, precisely, are we fucking looking at?
> 
> that's what id like to know.
> 
> okay. so what do we do?
> 
> i'm going in.
> 
> ver, wait–! ... fucking bitch....

**ass** >> **avengays**  
ass: theyre what

spiderkid: in space!!! come on guys keep up ur all usually smarter than this

ass: but we already handled all the spacey things  
ass: right?

iron can: apparently not.

spidermom: how are you so sure theyre telling the truth??

spiderkid: they didnt tell me ANYTHING i figure it out!!!

hawk eyes mf: you? really?

spiderkid:...okay so i MAY have had some help

iron can: you dont say

spiderkid: I DIDNT NEED THIS SLANDER ON THIS DAY OKAY  
spiderkid: were getting off track here

flapy bird: was there ever a track in the first place

spiderkid: akkfdkjds fUCK OFF bird uncle 2

arm: burn

flappy bird: shut up barnes

DOG: If I may interrupt, I believe I can offer you an explanation little spider and Avenger friends!

iron can: alright, lay it on us

DOG: I have momentarily checked in with Heimdall a few days back, and it seems...that it is not only Thanos we should we be worrying about.

spiderkid: whos thanos

iron can : NO ONE. the point, point break

DOG: Well...

anger: let me tell you about Voltron.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
peter @peteparker  
@guyinthechair NED NED NED ANSWERRRR COME ON

peter @peteparker  
@guyinthechair

peter @peteparker  
@guyinthechair

mel @coffekid  
uh... @guyinthechair ???

bi babe @bibabe  
ur boyf is calling @guyinthechair

eggs @deviled  
@guyinthechair is he asleep

peter @peteparker  
BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK NOT

eugene @ayybaby  
what's got ur undies in a twist??

peter @peteparker  
HNNGGGGG CANT SAY YET

rover died @pidgeon  
just hack into his phone?? u have the latest stark tech dont you?

peter @peteparker  
....

peter @peteparker  
im an IDIOT FUCK

peter @peteparker  
gimme a few minutes  
.  
.  
.  
ned @guyinthechair  
hi this is a callout post for @peteparker BABE WHY THE FUCK DID U WAKE ME UP AT ASS-OCLOCK

ned @guyinthechair  
smh he sent me a ton of messag

ned @guyinthechair  
oh

ned @guyinthechair  
aliens are real?

rover @pidgeon  
@spacedad Houston, we have a situation.

tired @spacedad  
ah.

tired @spacedad  
@blueboii @yellowboii @heypup @princess @MechanicAdvisor

mel @coffekid  
holy shit

ice @icebaby  
I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN THIS SOON

winnie @windexx  
calm down, twitter hasnt broken yet

ice @icebaby  
YEAH BUT IT MIGHT

winnie @windexx   
not if they keep it vague.

dying @blackcoffee  
yeah no their reddit thread is blowing the fuck up mate might wanna revisit that

winnie @windexx  
and what normal person would believe a conspiracy thread?

dying @blackcoffee  
...point.

bi babe @bibabe  
???? whats going on

eugene @ayybaby  
hahagahahahahaha shit so the spacefam might be fucked

carlos @oleole  
@blueboii LEOOOOOOO

lance @blueboii  
this is keith. lance is....  
[outofcommission.jpg]

tired @spacedad  
well we're doomed

lance @blueboii  
you could at least be a little concerned shiro

tired @spacedad  
youll be fine. ive had worse.

keith @heypup  
we didn't!!! in case you havent noticed we're two different people,

rainbow @covertt  
wait exactly wtf is going on??? some users are freaking out and idk why except that it involves the spacefam

eugene @ayybaby  
not to offend anyone here but are we really this stupid???

rainbow @covertt  
what's that supposed to mean?

eugene @ayybaby  
just....  
[four screesnshots. all of them vaguely hinting at mentions of space and aliens]

boom @batch  
i still dont get it

ned @guyinthechair  
for once, thank you, world, for being a collective dumbass  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Molly @molypoly  
@pidgeon Katie.

rover died @pidgeon  
GOTTA BLAST

Molly @molypoly  
GET BACK HERE YOU SNOT FILLED TART-MUFFIN

rover died @pidgeon  
scusa non parlo inglese

Molly @molypoly  
non stai prendendo in giro nessuno

rover died @pidgeon  
FOTTERE  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
[Incoming Transmission...]  
[Transmission Received. Decoding...]  
[TRNSCPT.txt]

  
**pO4.Hr44**  
k-rrrrhn, jkls entrw foosm kslbd okmsl in solcne?

**HrA.C0m1H**  
Uni, proknsih! Lasnbpe, of du keckt srut tam li ga?

**b7K.P1dN**  
Thank you, Coran. I think we should start the meeting with...What exactly are we going to do?

**RD.P1dN**  
Die, maybe.

**b7K.P1dN**  
Keith, no. No one is dying.  
...  
Except for my soul, maybe.

**B12.P1dN**  
I think at this point, all of us are dead inside. I mean, look at Hunk!

[Silence.]

**b7K.P1dN**  
Fair point. How's Pidge?

**RD.P1dN**  
Still the same.

**b7K.P1dN**  
What? I thought we – Katie, get down from there. We've talked about this.

**6rN.P1dN**  
No.

**b7K.P1dN**  
What do you mean, no? Pidge, you're the one with the holo-pad. If you're not going to come down at least give us the files.

[Hissing noises. Undecipherable.]

**RD.P1dN**  
Hang on.

[Loud noises, screams, and metal banging.]

**B12.P1dN**  
Rip in pieces, Keith, my darling fiancé, death by tiny gremlin.

**RD.P1dN**  
Fuck off.

**B12.P1dN**  
Where?

**RD.P1dN**  
I swear to god–

**b7K.P1dN**  
LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS.

**Y11.P1dN**  
...To defeat

**b7K.P1dN**  
Are you fucking kidding me?

[Several gasps]

**6rN.P1dN**  
Did Shiro say the fuck word?

**B12.P1dN**  
Shame on you, space dad. Parental License provoked.

**RD.P1dN**  
Revoked, babe.

**B12.P1dN**  
I knew that!

**pO4.Hr44**  
Lasnbpe, ole! Unn apoml di malonf eck durn shud dubishs!

**B12.P1dN**  
Sorry, Princess.

**pO4.Hr44**  
Pdgi, ole da grit ni sven du.

**6rN.P1dN**  
Fine.

[Clanging noises.]

**b7K.P1dN**  
Okay. How about this. We take, like, 3 fays off from social media – don't look at me like that, Lance, we need to do this. We're losing sleep over something that is, for all intents and purposes, entirely trivial.

**pO4.Hr44**  
Shro da murnk. Ergo drean lapnd grkkk di shu vla desn kre shum froelwk she, slalme ols me kfjcne mfao dkap lrepsla.

**6rN.P1dN**  
You're forgetting that some humans on Earth have literally been THIS fucking far before. Have you SEEN Thor? Prince of Asgard? He's KIND of hard to miss.

**Y11.P1dN**  
Not to mention, THANOS. I've been looking through some reports, guys, and like -- wait...Pidge, gimme your holo-pad, would you?

**6rN.P1dN**  
Huh? Sure, why?

[Beeping sounds.]

**Y11.P1dN**  
_Putang ina._..

[Connection weak...searching for a stronger link...]

**Y11.P1dN**  
Hey everyone. Guess what we just did?

[Connection failed. Error 504. Reconnecting....]

[Failed. Transmission blocked. Report error?]

[DENIED]

[Rebooting application...]

  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
irondad @TStark  
today i learned that SHIELD fucking sucks at interplanetary defense despite everything we've been told.

arlow @zoombitch  
CONTEXT?!?!?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, hi, not dead! just really dont have motovation. dw, im still gonna continue, but recently a BUNCH of shit just kept me occupied and like. i dont know hwere im going with this. what do you guys want to see int the next chapter, though? ive taken some of your ideas into account, but sadly i dont have the mental capacity to process all of them in one go. 
> 
> thanks again for sticking this far!! 💕 i love you guys so much qwq
> 
> (also, if you've noticed, i tend to put [filename.jpg] on a bunch of my chapters. this is technically because ive been planning to put some pictures in there, but havent gotten around actually drawing them. if you guys want to, you can send me your stuff! my tumblr's fine, but you can also email me lmao. shoot me a dm if youre interested! also, only if you want to. i dont want to forve people. ill get around drawing some of them too lmao!!)


	23. its just a phase...or not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which pidge has a few secrets, literally everyone wants to die at some point, and keith outs himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet 50 GAC half of yall are screaming bc i updated
> 
> i expect the deposits in 3 days
> 
> happy reading (๑・ω-)～♥”

luna @starpower  
are we really just ignoring that last "transmission thing"

eugene @ayybaby  
let the avengers handle it

luna @starpower  
but–

eugene @ayybaby  
**let the avengers handle it**

luna @starpower  
okay okay

lance @blueboii  
hi everyone! its your favorite lancey lance back at it with another offer for a qna

keith @heypup  
the princess says we have to include the others too

lance @blueboii  
:0 but this is ME time!

keith @heypup  
do you REALLY want to fight her on this sweetheart?

lance @blueboii  
:/ fine

mel @coffeekid  
Omg, a qna? i'm game!

carlos @oleole  
so am i (¬ω¬)

rover died @pidgeon  
catch me launching myself out the airlock

tired @spacedad  
You will not.

rover died @pidgeon  
(¬_¬) fiiiine.

stress cooking @yellowboii  
we?? have to do something important in a varga????

luna @starpower  
...varga?

ice @icebaby  
SHHHHH DONT RUIN IT

luna @starpower  
BUT THEY ARENT EVEN HIDING IT

luna @starpower  
_you would not believe your eyes_

luna @starpower  
_if...TEN MILLION FIREFLIES_

eugene @ayybaby  
what the fuck?

rover died @pidgeon  
@starpower , that'll end in 10 minutes.

eugene @ayybaby  
wait what the fuck is going on?

tired @spacedad  
i cant believe i actually know this.

mel @coffeekid  
know what?

tired @spacedad  
sigh....the woody collective

rover died @pidgeon  
howdy

stress cooking @yellowboii  
howdy

lance @blueboii  
howdy

keith @heypup  
howdy

peter @peteparker  
????????

lance @blueboii  
SO ABOUT MY QNA OFFER

eugene @ayybaby  
my sister's already transcribing as we speak, so, uh, if you guys could get moving so she doesnt get carpal tunnel...  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
**Fury**: Make sure you get everything.  
**IP012**: Yessir.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
mel @coffekid  
oh, ive got one! did you guys ever kiss someone you werent supposed to?

keith @heypup  
yup

lance @blueboii  
?????

tired @spacedad  
...wasn't that jamkeodofjakxkAKKDLALjnjskfkJsjkk

stress cooking @yellowboii  
can someone tell me why keith just launched himself at our fearless leader

rover died @pidgeon  
said fearless leader squealing like he's some basic white bitch btw

bi @bibaby  
holy shit

tim @fairies  
ahhhhh tea. again. jesus how much tea am i drinking here?

eugene @ayybaby  
a fuckton?

tim @fairies  
close enough

tired @spacedad  
you know what, katie?

eggs @deviled  
...?

winnie @windexx  
ohoho....

tired @spacedad  
"Hi, I'm Pidge, and when I was like 12 I had an Equestria Girls phase and bought like ALL Hasbros dolls like the fanatic I am"

rover died @pidgeon  
HOW DID YOU KNWO WHAT THE FUCK

rover died @pidgeon  
WAS IT MATT?!?? ILL FUCKING KILL HIM

rover died @pidgeon  
FORGET SAVING HIM FROM DANGER, ONCE WE HAVE HIM ILL THROW HIM AND YOU OFF THE FUCKING AIRLOCK

tired @spacedad  
ah, finally.

keith @heypup  
you're not dying AGAIN what the fuck

mel @coffeekid  
...again?

lance @blueboii  
shhhhh

dying @blackcoffee  
you do fucking realize everyone's gonan catch on sooner or later right

lance @blueboii  
im willing to hold it off as long as i can

luna @starpower  
_id like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly_

lance @blueboii  
awww, dont knock yourself short lady friend, girls as pretty as you have an even bigger heart ;) any guy would be lucky to have you.

lance @blueboii  
except me. i have my lovely space cowboy uwu

mel @coffeekid  
... :0  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
rover died @pidgeon  
FUCK YOU SUNSET SHIMMER IS AN AWESOME CHARACTER IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

bi babe @bibabe  
howd it get from pidge denying they were a pony fan to them adamantly defending an antagonitst-turned-protagonist

ice @icebaby  
the power of friendship

keith @heypup  
thats not how friendship works

stress cooking @yellowboii  
it can if you try hard enough

keith @heypup  
no???

rover died @pidgeon  
FUCK YOU SHIRO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING DOWN

tired @spacedad  
oh shit

rover died @pidgeon  
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LANCE UNIRONICALLY LOVED PRINCESS LUNA AND HAD A TOY PLUSHIE OF HER SINCE HE WAS IN 2ND GRADE

lance @blueboii  
WAIT NO WAHT THE FUCK HOWD YOU

rover died @pidgeon  
you cant hide anything from me, lance.

lance @blueboii  
... oh no @heypup babe do you think

keith @heypup  
...i am so sorry pidge....

rover died @pidgeon  
APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED

lance @blueboii  
PIDGE

keith @heypup  
PIDGE PLEASE WE'LL DO ANYTHING

rover died @pidgeon  
anything?

lance @blueboii  
ANYTHING

rover died @blueboii  
then perish

keith @heypup  
hey lance i think the airlocks are loose

lance @blueboii  
coming!

tired @spacedad  
NO DO NOT THROW YOURSELVES IN THE AIRLOCK

tired @spacedad  
WHY IS EVERYONE HEADING FOR THE AIRLOCK THESE DAYS

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
because the author's running out of ways to say "kill me now" in space terms!

keith @heypup  
wade what the fuck

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
keith, honey, ive talked to you about this

lance @blueboii  
hi wade!

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
hi lance!!

lance @blueboii  
when we get back you're dead to me **(:**

deadpool @deadpoolbaby  
probably deserve that

tired @spacedad  
you really do NOW KLANCE DONT YOU FUCKING GO INTO THAT AIRLOCK I SWEAR TO GOD

rover died @pidgeon  
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SUFFER NOW, SHIRO? KARMA'S A 20/20 BITCH AIN'T IT?

mel @coffeekid  
you're...you're not using those idioms correctly...

rover died @pidgeon  
DID I FUCKING STUTTER  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Plant King @PlantKing  
so @yellowboii im curious are you a brony too?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
sure am! that show's message is underrated, really. did you see the last episode? twilight looks amAZING i couldn't believe my eyes

rainbow @covertt  
awwwwww whos your fav hunk?

stress cooking @yellowboii  
i love pinkie pie, for sure. she knows how to bake!! that was super cool to me. also, part of her reminds me of lance, who is practically my best friend 5ever

bi babe @bibabe  
folks, we love a good gay agenda...BUT WE ALSO LOVE A PURE BROMANCE BETWEEN BROS

stress cooking @yellowboii  
two bros, chilling in a hot tub, no feet apart because we're both cuddlebugs and the heteronormative agenda was stupid anyway~

hot n messy @panwithaplan  
I NEED THAT QUOTE ON A TSHIT

tim @fairies  
what, again?

hot n messy @panwithaplan  
YES AGAIN

eggs @deviled  
okay then  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
keith @heypup  
since shiro and i are the only ones who havent been exposed yet, i'll just say here and now that all my emo was because of shiro and i think that mothman is real. thank you and goodbye

mel @coffeekid  
JJFOOSJAKJFKSKFS SKSKXKZ K E I T H

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos alive
> 
> NO BUT LEGIT IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING AKFKXKXKS I HAVE THIS MOCK INTERNSHIP THING AND I HAD LIKE 30 REQUIREMENTS NEEDED TO PASS, INCLUDING A RESEARCH PAPER WITH INTERVIEWS AND A VIDEO I NEEDED TO PRODUCE MYSELF.
> 
> like im so fucking busy i wonder how i even have the time to do anything
> 
> which then comes around to doing nothing
> 
> btw yall follow my tumblr and insta qwq   
@zakyuu is the art account for both tumblr and insta
> 
> harley_style.tumblr.com is my personal blog. you can prompt me some stuff too!! i love writing uwu
> 
> sorry for the shameless promotion here but i also do commissions! for drawing. you can chekc out my art accs for drawing samples and shit, dont be shy! i love alk of you (╯3╰)
> 
> okay okay im gonna stop now post in the comments what you wanna see next chapter okay baiiiiiii


	24. the chapter that never was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an alternate scenario, unfinished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im,,,, not dead y'all,,,,,
> 
> im so sorry for not posting anything during pride month, but i want you all to know that im a proud ass gender questioning bisexual aromantic. but i really am sorry for not being here to celebrate with you all, ive been busy with other projects.
> 
> but i was browsing through my notes and found this unnumbered chapter that was supposed to be the "reveal" except the story ran away from me and i cant really use this...anywhere. so this is just an alternate scenario. i hope you like it!

**voltron fights a war no one even knew was coming.**

eggs @deviled  
real talk @spacedad are you guys okay?

tired @spacedad  
to tell you the truth, no, we arent.

tired @spacedad  
weve been handed a responsibility we never asked for, we're miles away from home, klance both get insecure, pidge is a recluse, hunk is stressed and ive got ptsd.

eggs @deviled  
you cant get therapy?????

tired @spacedad  
where would we get it? theres no one here

rose @andthorns  
jfc where are you guys?!

winnie @windexx  
ah. i might be able to shed some light on that.

rose @andthorns  
??????

winnie @windexx  
[article link: "Three Garrison Cadets announced missing after failing to check in with Curfew"]

eugene @ayybaby  
yo what the hell

winnie @windexx  
@blueboii - Lance McClain, fighter pilot  
@yellowboi - Hunk Garett, mechanic  
@pidgeon - Pidge Gunderson, communications officer.

rover died @pidgeon  
i guess it was only a matter of time

pan with a plan @hotnmessy  
"disappeared shortly after a distress call" YO WHAT THE SHIT

mel @coffeekid  
ISNT THE GARRISON THAT SPACE EXPLORATION PROGRAM

ice @icebaby  
"there is still no sign of them. investigation follows them to a desert shack near a private archaeologist site, where ex-cadet Keith Kogane presumably resided" what the shit what the shit what the shit

eugene @ayybaby  
WAIT SO THEN WHERE ARE THEY

lance @blueboii  
[image: lance and keith are leaning on each other, on a planet that is very much not earth, on a balcony overlooking a sea of stars. keith's kissing lance's cheek while lance's hand is extended towards the camera] uwu

mel @coffeekid  
...wait. is that...?

ice @icebaby  
holy s Hit theyre in S P A C E?!?!?!

mel @coffeekid  
theyre WHAT

eggs @deviled  
@TStark uhhh Stark you might want to see this

irondad @TStark  
what

irondad @TStark  
....one question. for @princess.

Allura @princess  
Yes?

irondad @TStark  
who the fuck are you?  
.  
.  
.  
Allura @princess  
Pidge, if you would be so kind to remove those filters.

rover died @pidgeon  
done.

Allura @princess  
Thank you.  
.  
.  
.  
eugene @ayybaby  
...WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

eugene @ayybaby  
LOOK AT That One Fam™'s TWEET FEED EVERYONE

rainbow @covertt  
but this????? this wasnt???

tim @fairies  
[image comparison: one side is the filtered tweets. the other are what the paladins actually wrote]

pan with a plan @hotnmessy   
MOTHER OF GOD

ned @guyinthechair  
oh shit this explains so much  
.  
.  
.  
Allura @princess  
[video: Allura is sitting primly on the common room couch with the Paladins spread out behind her. 

"Hello," she says, tucking a hair behind her ear. "I know you must all be confused. Allow me to clear something up.

To put it simply; I am Princess Allura of the planet Altea. We of the Voltron Alliance offer our sincerest apologies for all the..secrets we've had to keep.

You must understand that what we did was for Earth's safety. Normally, I would rather be upfront and open communications immediately, but due to my Paladin's sound advice I have withheld from doing so in order not to startle you, and in part due to my adherence to my Paladin's requests.

With the discovery of the Avengers and Earth's alliance to Asgard, we realized it would be a bit too overwhelming to give you abother faction to worry about. But rest assured Voltron means you no harm, as you are the homeland of our Paladins.

If you wish to infer more about what it is exactly that the Voltron Alliance hopes to accomplish, you are free to contact me or my Paladins."

Allura bows her head. "I do hope you can forgive us for our trespass, and continue to greet my Paladins with the same kind of warmth that you have initially showed them all those months ago. It breaks my heart to see them in low-spirits, and this communication server is one of the ways that keep them happy."

One by one, the Paladins each bow their head. You can see Lance clutching Keith's hand tightly. Pidge has a tight look on their face. Hunk looks like he hasn't slept. Shiro looks exhausted.

"Once again, we of Voltron would like to offer our apologies, for all the lies we've given."]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> interact with me in tumblr! username is "harley-style" uwu
> 
> i just wanted to give yall this because i wanted you all to know i havent abandoned this yet i just dont know how to proceed with the next chapters okay see you next time
> 
> baiiii

**Author's Note:**

> AKDOWKSNR THIS WOULD NOT LEAVE MY FUCKING BRAIN 
> 
> i just love pomegranateboy's twitter fic. i simply love it. therefore im making this fic to show how much i love it and also as a vent because the creativity has to go somewhere. i hope you enjoy!!
> 
> (i might change the twitter handles if certain complications arise. but thats alright!! its still gonna stay the same, mostly.)
> 
> 10/16/19: guys i feel like i need to clarify a lot of things -- most of the users you see here other than the paladins and the spiderbabs are OCs. here's their list:  
lance - lance  
keith - keith  
rover died - pidge  
tired - shiro  
stress cooking - hunk  
allura - allura  
coran - coran  
peter - peter  
spider-man - spooderman himself lol  
irondad - tony  
ned - ned leeds  
michelle - mj  
bi babe - really gay person called wez  
winnie - conspiracy theorist  
eugene - done with voltron's shit  
mel - mel? took spanish classes. loves coffee.  
pan with a plan - a concerned fella  
eggs - eggs benedict lmao  
tim - timmy turner, older version. yes i went there  
rainbow - local cryptid  
rose - rose??  
ice - person who easily guessed the life stories of voltron. best friends with mel  
dying - the emo kid on the street who is secretly savage online  
but still good - just your normal everyday lesbian. kinda absent because she's focusing on schoolwork and college.  
shane & ryann - idk i saw their names and thought buzzfeed unsolved even though ive NEVER watched the series  
spoopy - just a regular asshole online  
arlo - he loves anything fast  
Plant King - psychology major student
> 
> and just to further clarify please do actually go to pomegranate-boy's _twitter is onto something_ marvel avenger twitter fic bc all the names im using were from that fic. You might not get why some of the things here happen because theyre directly interwined with the events int eh other fic. No im nto collabbing with pomegranate im just writing a fanfic of a fanfic pls dont hurt me


End file.
